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Whatever: 737 to the Max
March 17, 2024
Quote of the week In summary, the management of bilateral iatrogenic I'm very sorry, but I don't have access to real-time information or patient-specific...
Whatever: Pre-election special
March 5, 2024
Business news Google engages in union-busting. UK undertakers send Valentine's cards to care home residents. Most UK companies that took part in a 4 day week...
Whatever: Does the orange one dance with the walrus?
February 4, 2024
Crapto Over 2% of the US's electricity generating capacity is being wasted on Bitcoin. Many companies that were wasting energy on crapto are now wasting it...
Whatever: I cannot fulfill this request it violates OpenAI use policy
January 15, 2024
Politics Billionaires asked the Supreme Court to pre-emptively declare wealth taxes illegal. A candidate in the Presidential race in Taiwan gave out laundry...
Whatever: It's almost over
December 29, 2023
Fecal matters A Chinese chess champion was stripped of his title for defecating in a hotel bathtub, and investigated for possibly cheating at the game using...
Whatever: Copout28 Special
December 3, 2023
What could possibly go wrong? In 2021 Stanford student King Vanga drove his car at high speed into the back of another car, killing the occupants. He's now...
The Whatever: Maintenant dans L'Étoile du Nord
November 12, 2023
Business At last Pizza Hut offers snake pizza. Why so many boarded-up empty stores? Because banks make more money if they force leaseholders to pay rent on...
The Whatever: Regularly irregular schedule
October 12, 2023
Technology Amazon has been promoting Alexa as a reliable source of election news. Unfortunately Alexa has been claiming that the 2020 election was stolen. If...
The Whatever: Texodus edition
September 18, 2023
Quote of the week Australian multi-millionaire property developer Tim Gurner (net worth AU$584 million): I think the problem that we’ve had is that people...
…Whatever: Peacock vasectomies
August 21, 2023
That expensive real estate isn't going to occupy itself 80% of bosses now say they regret their earlier return-to-office plans. However, Zoom decides this is...
The Weekly(?) Whatever: Unsuitable for gorillas
August 1, 2023
Elon "Free speech absolutist" threatens to sue the Center for Countering Digital Hate for hurting his company's reputation with their words. Tesla's been...
The Weekly Whatever: Dead cat bounce
July 10, 2023
Quiz Meta's Horizon Worlds metaverse had a feature that would reward users for making content, with the company taking a cut. Guess how much revenue it...
The Weekly Whatever: Swipe credit card to read more Tweets
July 5, 2023
AI Google search results are now full of AI-generated junk websites full of ads. Finally, a good use for AI: wasting spam callers' time. You want to rent an...
The Weekly Whatever: We all live in a FAFO submarine
June 25, 2023
Brought to you by WiWi pajamas. Don't forget WiWi before bed. Titanica Too soon for jokes about the Titan? Look at how newspapers of the time snarked about...
The Weekly Whatever: It's a banger
June 18, 2023
$8chan Twitter stops paying its AWS and Google Cloud bills. Twitter gets evicted from its Boulder offices. Its expensive new unused Boulder offices. As most...
The Weekly Whatever: Kenny's Logins
June 12, 2023
Updates US National Eating Disorder Association, which replaced its crisis helpline staff with a chatbot after they unionized, discovers that the chatbot has...
The Weekly Whatever: The Girl Is Crying In Her Latte
May 27, 2023
Technology Adobe tells users they’re no longer allowed to use old versions of Photoshop or Lightroom. Free TV shows ads even when you’re not using it. It...
The Weekly Whatever: Happy Mothra's Day
May 15, 2023
Law and order UK police arrest anti-monarchist demonstrators. Man in mental health crisis is shot at 47 times by police. Somehow he survives, so now there’s...
The Weekly Whatever: Peeshow!
May 6, 2023
This issue is brought to you by Peeshow. Need to get your daughter a graduation gift? Think Peeshow! Environment Only 5% of plastics get recycled, and that...
The Weekly Whatever: rapid unscheduled disassembly
April 25, 2023
Tucker is gone but the problem continues If you subscribe to cable or satellite TV, you’re subsidizing Fox News. But the contracts between Fox and the cable...
The Weekly Whatever:
April 15, 2023
Substack decides to become the new Nazi bar. (Full interview) Parler shuts down, saying that there's just no viable business being a right wing version of...
The Weekly Whatever: Platform hamster gaskets
April 2, 2023
Taking a photo with a Samsung smartphone? That’s no moon. Court rules that Elon musk unlawfully threatened Tesla employees with the loss of stock options if...
The Weekly Whatever: Unconventional and Hilarious Headlines
March 26, 2023
(Subject line by ChatGPT.) Millions of dollars stolen from cryptocurrency ATMs that allow uploading of videos for some unknown reason. Users who scanned...
The Weekly Whatever: "Year of Efficiency"
March 19, 2023
Politics October surprise confirmed again: the Reagan campaign conspired with Iranian terrorists to sabotage Carter’s re-election. Far-right software...
The Weekly Whatever: Experimental past tense version
March 14, 2023
Quotes of the week “We’re all pretending we’ve got a lot to show for it, because admitting what a disaster it’s been is too tough to digest. But come on....
The Weekly Whatever: Pope Peterson I
March 5, 2023
Wildlife Two men shoot and kill a bald eagle, thinking it’s a vulture and planning to cook and eat it. American woman takes her pet cow for a walk in Red...
The Weekly Whatever: [Screaming intensifies]
February 25, 2023
COVID-19 After 3 years, I slipped up or was unlucky and got COVID. No news story here, just an announcement. I’m doing OK, but definitely wouldn’t recommend...
The Weekly Whatever: Welcome to The Jungle, kids
February 12, 2023
$8chan With all the experienced ops engineers laid off, Twitter is having trouble deploying code updates. Elon calls in an engineering team to explain...
The Weekly Whatever: Happy Brexit Day!
February 5, 2023
Advanced legal strategies Ontario says it doesn’t have to pay the compensation it owes for violating treaties with First Nations, because it already spent...
The Weekly Whatever: "Hi, everybody!" "Hi, Doctor ChatGPT!"
January 29, 2023
Quote of the week I am reminded in moments like this, of something Martin Luther King said, that “the ultimate measure of a [leader] is not where [they]...
The Weekly Whatever: Worst Ever Edition (So Far)
January 23, 2023
Law and order Kentucky Republicans hold an event at a restaurant to honor one of the cops involved in the no-knock raid that killed Breonna Taylor. Retired...
The Weekly Whatever: Definitely a friend of Frank, honest!
January 16, 2023
Business Farmers win the right to repair their tractors. For every $1 of new global wealth earned by a person in the bottom 90% in the past two years, each...
The Weekly Whatever: 411 410
January 8, 2023
$8chan Twitter makes further cuts to the team responsible for dealing with hate speech and harassment. Technology AT&T will no longer offer human telephone...
The Weekly Whatever: Ex Benedict
January 1, 2023
Business People who live in poor or diverse parts of US cities get slower and more expensive Internet service. Need to talk to the manager? Karens For Hire...
The Weekly Whatever: a mere 8 by 8 grid
December 26, 2022
Quotes of the week Elon Musk explaining why he doesn’t play chess any more: “I did as a child, but found it to be too simple to be useful in real life: a...
The Weekly Whatever: N628TS
December 18, 2022
Business news Hyundai-Kia has been benefitting from child workers in Alabama. Multiple online telehealth startups have been sending information about...
The Weekly Whatever: Guaranteed World Cup Free
December 13, 2022
$8chan Elon Musk turns up expecting to be adored by Dave Chapelle’s fans, but gets roundly booed instead. Three members of Twitter’s Trust and Safety Council...
The Weekly Whatever: I'm a toilet-half-full kind of person
December 4, 2022
Business European Union spends half a million dollars throwing a virtual party in Zuckerberg's metaverse. Six people show up. Amazon Alexa is a colossal...
The Weekly Whatever: Space Karen vs the world
November 19, 2022
Crapto Asshole who burned a Frida Kahlo drawing to increase the value of his 10,000 NFTs only sold four of them, for a total of $11,200. In the wake of the...
The Weekly Whatever: Blue bird of crappiness
November 15, 2022
Very normal people Man who lived in Paris' Charles-de-Gaulle airport for 20 years dies, appropriately enough, in the terminal. Homeless man roams Austin TX...
The Weekly Whatever: I got ya bird right here
November 8, 2022
Crapto Cryptocurrency platform that offered 43% returns on investment suddenly offers 0% chance of withdrawing your money. First Bitcoin ETF has burned...
The Weekly Whatever: Quick hits
October 31, 2022
Florida attorney who opposed the state’s motorcycle helmet law dies in a motorcycle crash, from head trauma, while not wearing a helmet. Worryingly, a friend...
The Weekly Whatever: All hail the lettuce!
October 24, 2022
UK news Prime Minister Liz Truss fought a lettuce, and the lettuce won. Sadly, American democracy is way more dysfunctional. Crapto Bitcoin's price drop and...
The Weekly Whatever: Monitoring Vermont's Purity of Essence
October 17, 2022
Quote of the week I discovered that the beauty isn’t out there, it’s down here, with all of us. Leaving that behind made my connection to our tiny planet...
The Weekly Whatever: Maybe it's time for a rename
October 10, 2022
Science Yes, you can detect the prevalence of COVID-19 by counting the number of reviews of candles that complain that they don’t smell. Business...
The Weekly Whatever: Special Commemorative Deceased Monarch Edition
September 18, 2022
Quote of the week An Irish friend says that when the news of the Queen’s death came through, ‘I was drinking in an Irish Republican Socialist pub here in...
The (Mostly) Weekly Whatever: Those stolen classified documents really tie the room together
September 4, 2022
Reasonable people Another Russian oil executive dies after falling out of a window, what are the odds? New York couple wish to assure people that their...
The Weekly Whatever: Much wow
August 21, 2022
Science People who oppose the scientific consensus believe they have the highest level of science knowledge. Oddly enough, the exact opposite is the case....
The Weekly Whatever: Never Early
August 16, 2022
The worst site on the Internet Facebook accepted bribes from OnlyFans to get adult entertainers put on a terrorist watch list. Instagram and Facebook put...
The Weekly Whatever: Accidentally sent by Alex Jones's lawyers
August 7, 2022
Italian influences Tennessee couple want their engagement photos to have an Italian feel to them, so they have them taken at an Olive Garden. New Italian...
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