The Weekly Whatever: Unconventional and Hilarious Headlines
(Subject line by ChatGPT.)
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Millions of dollars stolen from cryptocurrency ATMs that allow uploading of videos for some unknown reason. Users who scanned their wallets' private keys for some similarly unknown reason have probably had those stolen.
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June 2022: UK rail workers ask for a 7% pay rise, below the rate of inflation. The government says that's unaffordable, offers 4% and vows to fight. March 2023: The government gives in and rail workers get a 14.4% pay rise.
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Conservatives are unhappy that ChatGPT and other AI bots exhibit liberal attitudes like saying racial slurs are “never morally acceptable”. Elon Musk and Gab vow to create conservative chatbots. Brendan Eich's Brave browser company already has its own chatbot which says “it is widely accepted that the 2020 presidential election was rigged”.
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Mozilla also decides to jump on the AI hype train.
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In their attempts to destroy Obamacare, conservatives amended state constitutions to guaranteed the right for people to control their own medical decisions. These constitutional clauses are now being used to strike down abortion bans.
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It turns out that peace is an option: want to walk past a goose? Learn how to make them all honk and no bonk.
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GitHub accidentally publish their SSH private key on GitHub.
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Twitter once fought government demands for accounts to be banned. Now that self-proclaimed "free speech absolutist" Elon Musk is in charge, 122 accounts have been banned at the request of the Indian government.
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In news that will surprise exactly nobody who has ever dealt with the US healthcare industry, it has been revealed that Cigna Health Insurance have their doctors reject insurance claims without even reading them.