The Weekly Whatever: The Girl Is Crying In Her Latte
Technology
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Adobe tells users they’re no longer allowed to use old versions of Photoshop or Lightroom.
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Free TV shows ads even when you’re not using it. It also features a camera, microphone and motion sensors. 6079 Smith W.! Face the telescreen!
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A lawyer asks ChatGPT for citations for an argument he wants to make. ChatGPT makes some up and the lawyer blindly files them with the court. Nobody can find the cited cases, so they ask for copies — and the lawyer asks ChatGPT for the text of the cases, which it randomly generates. The court queries whether the cases are real, so the lawyer asks ChatGPT if they are. It assures him they are, so he tells the court the same. Now everything has unraveled and the judge is not happy…
Diet
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Staff at the National Eating Disorders Association helpline unionize, so the helpline fires them all and replaces them with a chatbot.
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Artificial sweeteners won’t help you lose weight.
Education
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Missouri student who recorded a high school teacher using racial slurs gets suspended.
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Texas introduces a new schoolbook featuring Winnie-the-Pooh telling kids how to survive a mass shooting.
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Missouri man who supported banning LGBT+ books from the library to protect children is now facing felony child molestation and domestic assault charges.
Law and order
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Tennessee bans citizen oversight of police.
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Tennessee passes law to protect gun manufacturers from civil lawsuits.
X
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A man’s Tesla catches fire, customer support ask him to haul the burned wreck to their service center.
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Tesla “full self-driving” sees pedestrians at crosswalks but doesn’t always bother to stop for them.
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George Soros dumps his Tesla stock, Elon declares that Soros “hates humanity”.
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Twitter decides to stop following the EU’s disinformation code.
Real estate
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Man who blasted “We Didn’t Start The Fire” did, in fact, start the fire.
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Researchers work out how to reuse used diapers in concrete. Perfect for the next Trump Tower.
Worth a try
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Colorado DUI suspect tries to get away with it by switching seats with his dog.
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Man buys $2,200 of “Trump Bucks” and other Trump merchandise, tries to cash them in at his bank only to discover they’re worthless.