One of the things a lot of novels don’t spend a lot of time on is outercourse. Outercourse is a broad term that includes a wide range of sexual behavior that does not involve penetration of a penis. Much like some of the other terms we’ve discussed, there is some variation as to what falls into outercourse versus intercourse. Some folks include anal and oral sex as outercourse. Some folks include toys.
Now certain there is quite a bit of fiction that includes outercourse. In many cases, however, fictional outercourse is included as a prelude to intercourse. (I confess, I have done this myself in fiction.)
Now am I saying that X percent of scenes going forward need to be outercourse only, no intercourse? Nope! As with much of what we are discussing in this series, these are points to consider. And certainly, depending on the configuration of your couple, outercourse might be all that they ever engage in.
We’ll talk more about risk again later, but as a note, outercourse generally does not carry a risk of pregnancy. But depending on the various character’s actions, sexually transmitted infections (STIs) may still be a concern.
However, certain forms of outercourse may be an option for your characters in one of the following situations:
-One or more characters are not quite ready for penetrative sex -One or more characters has had trouble orgasming through penetrative sex -One or more characters wishes to explore more directly the things that arouse another character -The characters do not have access to contraception -The characters are somewhere that engaging in penetrative sex carries more risk than sticking with outercourse. -The characters are bored with just penetrative sex. -One or more characters is menstruating and wishes to skip penetrative sex. There are more options than that of course. Some of these may or may not apply to your story and/or your characters.
In a similar vein, I would suggest that old-fashioned terminology for sex, such as comparing sex to a baseball diamond reinforces the idea that anything that doesn’t result in a home run is a failure. Your characters may well be left wanting more from their encounter. Your characters may be intentionally teasing the sexual tension. But while penetrative sex is often something characters are aiming towards, demonstrating that they can find satisfaction in one another is just as important in outercourse as it is elsewhere.
Outercouse or non-penetrative sex - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Non-penetrative_sex Sex Needs a New Metaphor - https://www.ted.com/talks/al_vernacchio_sex_needs_a_new_metaphor_here_s_one?language=en