Archive

This week is Read an Ebook Week over at Smashwords.  And so, you can pick up ebooks of mine (and tons of others) at a discount.  My books* are 25% off.  

Between you, me, and the lamppost - the sale applies to purchases through Smashwords.  If your fave etailer rhymes with say Schamazonnne, they do tend to price match, so you do you.  

*Just a note, my YA short Bait Girl is not included in the sale.  

Hi, folks,

Yes I mean 4th quarter that ended like a bit over a month ago. January is a lot. 

Anyway, here's some great things I read.  Bookshop links.

Batter Royale by Liesl Adams - We know I'm a sucker for baking. This graphic novel about two teens who join a baking competition is adorable. 

In which I gush about two books I read and enjoyed recently.

Dahlia Adler's Home Field Advantage is a female quarterback and female cheerleader story, where they fall in love, and also maybe save the football team's record. It doesn't shy away from the harassment and the crap that a female quarterback would face. Or the weird balance of things when you have been working so hard to just survive high school in a more conservative small town, and have even created a decoy relationship, and now, the person you really really want means blowing all of that up.

Nghi Vo's Siren Queen is 1930's Hollywood if the studios were run by literal monsters, not just figurative ones, and the Chinese American girl who wants to be in movies on as close to her own terms as she can get. Vo's ability to take a story and add monsters and make it feel absolutely normal and correct astounds me.

I thought I would share some recipes I've been enjoying lately.

I recently made this mushroom black bean chili, since it matched a bunch of ingredients I had on hand. I used to be firmly team no beans in chili, and I have switched sides. I also added chili powder.

My freezer is stuffed right now with these pea ricotta dumplings. I have also made them with goat cheese in place of ricotta, and that's good too.

And these mochi cinnamon rolls are delicious, and perfect for people like me who are too lazy to yeast, but like a cinnamon roll.

Hi folks,

I discovered a glitch in the way I was publishing newsletters, so if this is the first arriving to you, oops, and hi. Here's some of my top reads of the quarter. Bookshop links or books2read links included.

Bitter by Akwaeke Emezi - This prequel to Pet was just what I needed as far as a book that was about a character not wanting to have to save the world she didn't screw up, and learning how community can be formed and supported in many ways. Also, hot people are distracting.

Ballad and Dagger by Daniel Jose Older - This YA fantasy was also about figuring out how to save your community when your community has literally lost their home, and how sometimes the stories we tell about our past overlook important things. Also ghosts and crushes!

Hello, folks,

A bit a admin before we get to the good stuff. First, while this epilogue is told from Sienna's point of view (last seen in Clear as Ice), it also features Raven, Marcus, Lulu, Aiden, and even a bit of Adriana. Chronologically it occurs after Clear as Ice but therefore also after Aloha to You, Repeated Burn, and Bored by the Billionaire. I don;t think it spoils much other than these people are all still together, but YMMV. Also, the entire text is posted below, and available to subscribers. But if you want a version you can send to your e-reader, you can go here: https://dl.bookfunnel.com/5jjvkby179

Print peeps, I'm sorry, but since this is basically pamphlet sized, I'm not going to release it as a paper book.

Enjoy!

Hey folks, I'm adding in a monthly piece on two books I wanted to highlight. Likely these books will also appear in my quarterly reading roundup, but the thing is sometimes I want to talk a little longer about a book, and sometimes all I have to say is, it was great go read it.

I may get a little spoilery in these posts so if you don't want too much info - here are the two books, you can go forth and come back later - After Hours on Milagro Street and I'm Glad My Mom Died.

So, full disclosure, I know the author of this first one, so I am predisposed to like her stuff. But I read Angelina M. Lopez's After Hours on Milagro Street and was really fascinated. First, both characters are holding on to some stuff, and have chosen very different life strategies to handle it. They meet, bang, and then fairly quickly butt heads. He lives over the family bar she has come back to town to save. He's a white East Coaster who has adopted her town, a history professor, who loves the less well-known history of Mexican Americans that her town, and her family represent. She has been making her name as a Chicago bartender. And now has big ideas for how to make this bar something that would appeal to people from cities and even the nearby college.

I will say, there's a lot of people being irritable with each other and not bothering to explain why, and I do think all the pieces do get unveiled in ways that make everything that came before make even more sense, but that is very much a your mileage may vary on that scenario. There's also a bit of lost treasure hunting and a cranky ghost. And at one point there is only one bed.

Rita had a healthy concern for DMs. Even in the workplace, the people who wanted to DM you often wanted to do or talk about things they wouldn't do on main and so any time that indicator lit up on the work chat she cringed a little.

But she didn't have Ben's number and she wanted to hang out with him, virtually, but off work. If he wanted, obviously.

Oh wait, technically Rita did have his number, because she had covered for him one day when he had a dentist appointment, but that also seemed like leveling up inappropriately so the DM seemed the least awful. 

Rita: Hey, Ben. If you're up for some sort of virtual coffee chat, sometime let me know. No worries if not.

So, the official release post is going to go up Tuesday on the blog.  But, I made a minor goof uploading to all the various sites.  As a result, depending on your vendor of choice, it may already be available. 

(If it's not yet, I promise it will be by Tuesday.)

Eden had demanded they do a virtual happy hour via video chat. Rita had teased asking if the drinks had to be virtual.

“What you think Ben’s deal is?” Rita asked sort of surprised that the question exited out of her mouth all fully formed like that. Her phone was sitting on the table so she could drink with both hands.

“In what way?” Eden said, eyebrows raised in do tell fashion.

‘I don’t know, I guess I mean I talk about books and stuff, and you talk about your family, and like other than he really likes ‘Space Race’, I feel like we don’t know that much about him.”

Hey, so here's my personal reading for the Ripped Bodice Bingo. Some of these I bumped to the top of the TBR, some I found through the library, some I sought out to fill a block, some had been of interest to me anyway. Also, a couple of these in my humble opinion fall into women's fiction but are according to the publishing marketing. I think the lines on that are currently being redrawn, but here we are.

Funnily enough amnesia and Hawaii were tough, partly because I've already read a lot for both. And I would not have told you I read this much second chance, but apparently I do. (Dance was not a surprise.) And I think widowed protagonist might be the entry that turned out to be a bit spoilery, so read on warned.

And hat tip to the @RomanceSmells Twitter that helped me narrow down some options for smells like laundry.

There's still time left to get in entries, so hopefully this is helpful if you want to play along. Many titles fit into multiple categories, so there are several repeats.

“I need to add a child to my coverage," the voice said with a sense of urgency.

"Congratulations," Rita said. "We'll just need a copy of the birth certificate, and we can get that updated for you." 

"So here's the thing," the voice said, pitched lower like he didn't want to be overheard, "I can get a copy of that, but the child is three months old. There was - well, suffice it to say the mother and I lost touch and I have only just become aware," the voice said. "But that's not the child's fault obviously."

"Of course not. I'm going to do a little more research on what information we might need from you. I will email you with that later today," Rita said. 

Rita saw the email pop up, just as she was sending her notes about the errors on a client's medical file.  

It was from her manager Carla.  "Please give me a call, when you have a moment." 

Rita took a breath.  Carla was a reasonable manager, but Rita had never been able to get rid of that flash of panic that came.  

Carla sent her a video chat link and reminded her to set her status so no phone calls came through while they were talking.  

"My spouse lost her very terrible job," the caller sang, "and this is really a blessing in disguise!"

Rita felt like she was missing a meme or something. She didn't recognize the tune, but definitely caller seemed very excited by this turn of events. "Okay, well, are you adding them to your plan?"

"Of course," Caller sang. "Of course," the caller repeated in a speaking voice. "Just because I'm happy that terrible job is too stupid to realize what they lost, doesn't mean I don't want her taken care of."

"Sure," Rita said. They talked through the documents needed and the process to submit them.

Things I've read and enjoyed over the past quarter. I tried to keep this to a top ten, but, well, didn't entirely succeed. Bookshop links included.

Winter's Orbit by Everina Maxwell - Remember how I said I hate long books about fictional politics? I - er - lied. Or maybe I hate them unless it's about a multi-planet marriage of convenience between a dude whose sunny talkative charm is underappreciated by his militaristic family and a guy who has been told his best asset is being quiet. I barreled through this. Content note: Militaristic imperialism, past abuse, and chemical torture.

Portrait of a Thief by Grace Li - It is the museum heist novel if a bunch of teens who had watched a lot of heist movies planned a heist. But it's also some appropriate college kid wrestling with legacy and diasporan identity.

Wedding Crasher by Mia Sosa - I am so biased about Mia Sosa books. But stopping someone's wedding, double fake dating, DC area stuff, plus being tricked into attending a sex party, if this is the kind of bonkers sexy fun you want, this book delivers.

Eden: I got a secret baby! Rita, can you forward me what the process was.

Ben: How can a baby be secret?

Rita: It's a trope name.

Eden: Apparently they only met once and she deleted the app they had talked on, and then, well it took a bit. He was very chatty. They are very happy now, but holding off on marriage because at this point they might as well wait another year so the kid will remember.

"Hello," the caller said, "I have sort of an unusual situation."  

"Okay," Rita said.  

"So, I had removed my spouse from coverage last year during open enrollment, and well, now circumstances have changed, and I need to add them back," the caller said.  

"Okay," Rita said.  She had found in tricky situations it was sometimes easier to outline the ways this action would be allowed rather than ask - were you just mad at your spouse?  Because that's not considered a life event by the IRS and other powers that be. "So, there's a couple of situations where a mid-year add of a family member is allowed.  If they lost access to other coverage and if they are a new family member."  

Quick Note. The prior installment is here.

"I would like to make sure my intern is covered on my health insurance," the voice announced after giving her employee ID.

Rita flipped over to the company summary for the client. No specific intern provisions listed there. "Is your intern employed 35 hours a week with the company?" Rita asked.

How May I Help You

Rita Ulani Lai checked her headset and answered then phone. "Global US HR consulting, how may I help you?"

She had tried to convince her manager that Global US made no sense. But Global Corp provided human capital management consulting to multinational companies, the kinds with billionaires and trillionaires as CEOs, and while the Rita handled the US market, they felt reminding their customers about their Global reach was important.

"So, I have a question," the caller said. "I believe I may need to add a spouse to my coverage. Could I get more information about this process?"

So, I teased this story a while back. And here we are.

1. A lot of my story ideas start with a thing that isn't really a story idea. In this case I started with the idea of what if all these folks with secret babies and spouses of convenience had to call their HR about these things. And then I thought, hmm, what if one of the HR people was secretly in love with the other?

2. I have worked in call centers. I have held a job similar to this. For as many policies and procedures as I included, there are plenty I discarded because even realism has it's limits. None of these calls are based on real calls I have ever taken. Partly because this story is fiction, but also because my memory for individual calls is not that good.

3. This story exists in the pandemic. I still have a few things planned that are going to exist pre-pandemic, but this one made sense to exist with telecommuting, vaccinations, and masking in place.

4. This story is completed, and I do plan to release it as a single entity. So, you can skip over it if you hating waiting for serialization, or catch up at the end. All reading choices are valid.

5. Each entry I post has been lightly edited. I will likely make some small tweaks as things progress, so the final may have additional changes.

6. There will be romance, of course. This one is single POV though.

7. And this one is not connected to any of my existing series, although it does still take place in the DC area.

Also, if you read through this whole thing hoping I would mention that other story I serialized. Hello, I adore your patience. Complicated sports superstitions meant I couldn't talk about it in season. But preorder links are populating and I'll talk more in a bit about it. (This is the #HockeyFiction story for folks who want to find it on my blog.)

Okay, so the sneak peak went out in March, and next installment and weekly going forward on Fridays - right here.

Lol, I wrote a whole series thinking, cool, I'll never have to soapbox again. And here we are. So I was reading a middle grade where the mom is telling her tween daughter that she's actually excited that she's LGBTQ because it lowers her risk of teen pregnancy.

Caveat 1: I am aware that in this fictional scenario, the parent was trying to express how their kid being LGBTQ was something that was not worrisome which is a delightful thing. I wish all characters and real people had delightful and supportive adults around them.

Caveat 2: The story has not assigned a specific label to the character's attraction which is why I used the full acronym. So this statement may be more correct than my initial response. Here's a link to some stats: https://www.guttmacher.org/article/2019/12/sexual-orientation-differences-pregnancy-and-abortion-across-lifecourse

The reality is this. Most teens in the US do not get sex education. Like at all. The ones that do, often get very bland ones, that often only vaguely allude to any sexual behavior outside heterosexual behaviors. As a result, if an LGBTQ teen has access to sex ed, it likely does not reference anything about their attraction(s) and so, basically, chances are they either don't listen, or listen in the way you do when you're sitting through someone talking about spaceship design when you have no plans to ever design a spaceship. Like cool, I need to retain none of this. So, all of that is to say, LGBTQ teens on average, are navigating the world with less information about how to navigate sexually and as such are actually (with some exceptions for lesbians) at an elevated risk of sexuallty transmitted infections and teen pregnancy. 

I read a lot of things this quarter, which means the amount of things I read was a little higher than normal.  I also quit more things than normal for this point in the year. So I decided, I get to go a little more than top ten for the quarter.   

Bookshop links except in one case where it's only available digitally.  

Hunt the Stars by Jessie Mihalik – Space floof!  Is how I have been describing this book.  But basically it’s a classic space team gets hired by another space team for assistance with an investigation and discovers that they have not been entirely upfront about the mission but also sexual tension, and the aforementioned space critter.

Playing for Love by Jeevani Charika – Digital only – Very cute story about two folks who work at the same co-working space where there are some crush feelings happening and their gamer selves get paired up for an event and there are some crush like feelings, and well, wrestling of feelings ensue.

The final quarter of 2021, I gobbled up a wide variety of things. Here is my top ten, with bookshop links.

[A Phoenix First Must Burn]( https://bookshop.org/books/a-phoenix-first-must-burn-sixteen-stories-of-black-girl-magic-resistance-and-hope/9781984835659) Edited by Patrice Caldwell – One of those anthologies where my enjoyment was from like to love. All different kinds of fantasy.

[Hooked: How Crafting Saved My Life]( https://bookshop.org/books/hooked-how-crafting-saved-my-life-9781538734285/9781538734285) by Sutton Foster – While for my tastes, there was less singing than I might have hoped in this memoir of a life through the crafts that kept her company in some of those big moments, it was still a really enjoyable throughline, seeing how crafting was there in the good times and the bad. Content note: Discussions of anxiety, agoraphobia, difficult family relationships.

[Unbound: My Story of Liberation and the Birth of the Me Too Movement]( https://bookshop.org/books/unbound-my-story-of-liberation-and-the-birth-of-the-me-too-movement/9781250621733) by Tarana Burke –

While the calendar year isn't quite over, so my quarterly and annual wrap up will show up next year because more reading to be done. I thought I would list out some other great things that kept me entertained this year. 

Phone games: I am still playing three hidden object games, and a dots game regularly.

Podcasts: I actually reduced my podcast subscriptions, as more phone time at work meant less podcast time. But several of the NPR podcasts, along with the Wanna Be podcast, and some of the Radiotopia group stayed in rotation. Also, I would be remiss not to mention Let's Go Steal a Podcast, which thanks to a new season is still going. Revisiting the show has been a blast, and the reboot is doing things that make me happy. So I guess that's also new TV that I watched.

Twitter: I had to reevaluate my social media, as you do, and there are times when I do lock myself out of twitter for an hour when it shifts to doomscrolling, but it remains the place I find out things like Jean and Jorts, so I thank it. Also, while my Twitter following is small enough that I don't get targeted often, I used Block Party App to help filter out some of the stuff that deserves less attention.

Lulu Williams is bored with dating billionaires. She has just ditched the latest and is on a late night train back to DC when she encounters a handsome stranger. They get kicked out of the quiet car together and agree to go from the train to a hotel room to explore this sexual tension. Lulu figures Aiden will be the perfect palate cleanser. He wasn’t supposed to also be an interesting guy who doesn’t treat her purse mogul life as a cute hobby, who takes her to museums, and eats fried food from a bag. And he especially wasn’t supposed to be a billionaire.

Available at etailers starting next week. Pre-orders up now: https://books2read.com/u/47O6GL.

(Print will arrive later.)

Hey, I drafted this, and then through a series of unfortunate things, managed to lose the entire thing, so here we are. Technology.  (Yes, I had a backup.  Yes, I deleted it, because I thought everything was cool.   Yes I went and ate actual ice cream when I realized what had happened.) 

But here we are. 

I had a really good quarter reading wise, so narrowing it down to ten was tough.  Bookshop or Bookbub links included.

[The Retake]( https://bookshop.org/books/the-retake/9780593174142) by Jen Calonita – A very sweet middle grade about a girl who has a super bad first day of seventh grade and gets a mysterious app that lets her go back in time to try and change the trajectory of some friendships.

So, while there’s still a few days to finish if you yourself are playing along, I thought I would share my progress. The post about the suggestions I had from books I had already read is here. No reviews here - the quarterly round up will go out probably next week. Some books I reused in this list, but obviously only submitted just once. I only got one true bingo.
Defense Attorney: Educator: The Hellions Waltz by Olivia Waite Construction:
Friends to Lovers: Girl With Stars in Her Eyes by Xio Axelrod, Learned Reactions by Jayce Ellis Date Auction: Down on it’s luck small town: Reality TV: Accidentally Engaged by Farah Heron, Rosaline Palmer Takes the Cake by Alexis Hall Demigods: Karaoke: This Dating is Fake Isn’t It: The Wolf Lord by Ann Aguirre, Accidentally Engaged by Farah Heron, Learned Reactions by Jayce Ellis Cover has snow: Gilded Age Reporter: Holiday That is Not Christmas: Hard Sell by Hudson Lin, Cemetery Boys by Aiden Thomas Scientific Pursuit: The Demon Prince by Ann Aguirre Protagonist smells like freshly baked bread: Accidentally Engaged by Farah Heron Triplets Circus: Graphic Novel: Patience and Esther by S.W. Searle Stable Romp: The Shadow Warrior by Ann Aguirre Revenge Quest: The Wolf Lord by Ann Aguirre, The Jaguar Knight, The Hellions Waltz by Olivia Waite Bodyguard: The Shadow Warrior by Ann Aguirre, True Colors by Thea Harrison Tattoos: In Harmony by JN Welsh Wardrobe Malfunction: Summer of Lost Letters by Hannah Reynolds

Yeah, for those of you who dislike learning via email, and/or who want to have all the info in one place, the newsletter info has been compiled into book format. I did add a bonus chapter with some examples of good depictions of fictional sex and contraception.
If you found this newsletter entry before the others, here’s the info: Let’s Talk About Fictional Sex: Writing Sex Scenes That Deepen Character Sex scenes provide authors an opportunity to explore their characters more deeply. (Pun intended!) Fiction is not a how-to manual, but sex scenes are about more than how much description the author dedicates to the act. The choices characters make, from communication to contraception, are an often underutilized way demonstrate your characters’ experiences and expectations of both the world and their relationship expectations. In this series, we’ll take a look at some of the basics of how the choices characters make regarding sex reveal their character. Started as a newsletter series, but expanded into ebook form. Universal link here: https://books2read.com/u/3RnRqL

In the class I teach, we do what we call a question box. Everyone has to write something down and pass it forward, and then the instructors review, research as needed and tell the entire class, in case other folks had the same question.
Obviously, it’s a little tougher to do that in a newsletter form. If you are comfortable asking your question here, please do. You can also email me or DM if we are mutual on Twitter.
A few parameters. We are discussing fictional characters engaging in sex here. Not because I don’t care about you, your best friend, or your neighbor. I do. But I am not going to wade into actual sex or health concerns. Nor am I sharing any information about my sexual history. There are plenty of places on the internet that want to hear about your personal sex life.
I may refer you to one of the references. I do this not because I’m lazy, but because, I like to source my information. Things change. Plus, I’m just some stranger. I like people to have resources other than me. Also, if book form is a better reference for you the ebook is up for preorder at multiple etailers: https://books2read.com/u/3RnRqL

An analogy I use a lot is this. If you go to the movies by yourself, it can be a wonderful and exciting experience. You get to choose the time, the place, the snacks, the row you sit in, and when you leave the movie you will have seen a movie. The movie may be what you hoped for or not, but you have seen the movie. (Barring random screen glitch failures.)
If you go to the movies with a person whose company you enjoy, there may well be some negotiations about time, place, snacks, and row. Throughout the movie, even if you never speak to each other, you will be aware that this other person is experiencing this movie with you. And at the end, you can talk about what you liked, what you didn’t, what was great, and honestly, even a movie you didn’t enjoy can be a lot of fun with someone who you enjoy.
If you go to the movies with a person you don’t know very well, there is negotiation which is often harder with someone you don’t know very well. And then once the movie is going, there may be things you don’t know. Do they like talking during movies or hate it? Do you like talking during movies or hate it? If you hate it, will they understand and shut up after you don’t answer a few times? Did they know to share the popcorn? Or did they keep forcing popcorn on you while you were trying to concentrate? And at the end, you don’t have any common experience to draw on to decide if they will love or hate the movie.
Any and all of the above experiences can be really fun! Or not. So, I think this analogy – because the pizza one wasn’t enough – also applies to sex. There are lots of internal thoughts, feelings, and concerns that your characters are dealing with in any of the above situations or any variations therein. (Also, think about going to the movies with people you know you don’t like. Automatically less fun. Boo.) My plan is not to cover the technical physiological details of characters engaging in sex, but to talk about how the experiences and knowledge they have about each other and/or themselves will factor into their experience. This is also why in stories that are demonstrating a growing relationship, there can be multiple sexual encounters. Because by the second or third or seventh, depending on the story, there should be a material change in how these characters engage in sexual behavior with one another. They have learned new information about each other. They already know how the other feels about popcorn.

I know we touched on power dynamics a little in the consent topic, but let’s talk in a little more detail. In almost any configuration of a relationship you can imagine, someone has more power. There are some exceptions, but they are rare. Power manifests in different ways, and certainly it is possible for some characters to have similar amounts of power.
Power is often rooted in the culture, so certainly some of these things will be different in different countries, in different worlds. Although, I will say, one trick I see often in sci-fi worlds is to flip one power dynamic (often only one) and assume that by flipping one, the only change in that world is that those people would wield power in ways that are remarkably similar to the ways we see done in our world, just with different shaped people doing it. And well, think on why there wouldn’t be more differences than that.
Anyhoodle. So, in the current US society the following things provide power: -Being a cis-gender male -Being white or white-presenting -Being rich -Being older (there are some places where this starts to wane certainly) -Being able-bodied -Being fluent in English and able to speak it with an accepted Mid-Atlantic accent -Being heterosexual or hetero- presenting -Having a college degree This is not an exhaustive list, and certainly there are axes and spectrums within these. Some degrees are considered to carry more weight and power than others, as an example. Able-bodied can be in the eye of the beholder as long as no one asks you to run, as another.
None of this is, I expect, news to anyone. But it does mean that a story between a white, cisgender, able bodied, English speaking, college educated, heterosexual male, and a white, cisgender, able bodied, English speaking, college educated, heterosexual female – one of them has more cultural power. This may – in theory – not come up much in your story at all. But it does mean the more power and access you layer into any of the characters, it changes what that means for your story. A relationship between a eighteen year-old and a twenty-two year-old may not break any laws, but one of them has more power in this world. I was an irregular watcher of the show “Younger” but one of the things I felt it did well, was look at how being perceived to be very young and inexperienced changed how many of the other characters – except the one who was actually young – treated Liza. So what does this mean for the choices your characters make? Well, in any fictional relationship it’s important to take a look at which character holds more power. Because that character is going to have the option to do the most harm. A boss can fire a subordinate character. A rich person has more resources to carry out legal and other threats. An able-bodied person can afford to be more flip about health care access. Does this mean only the character with more power can harm the relationship? No. But it means, if the character with more power harms the relationship, they have to do more work to repair it.

Because we are talking about drugs and alcohol today, and how they affect a character’s ability to consent, we are going to brush up against some discussion of violation of consent. If that means today’s topic is not for you, or not for you today, please feel free to skip.

RAINN has resources and info to discuss sexual assault, and assisting loved ones who have experienced it, as well as links for those outside the US: The National Sexual Assault Hotline is available 24/7: Telephone: 800.656.HOPE (4673) Online chat: online.rainn.org Español: rainn.org/es

The health class I took in middle school took us through several types of drugs, as well as alcohol, and talked through what the generally expected effects of each were and what counts as a serving for alcohol.
I am not going to be that thorough. I will point you to a resource though. Well, so why are we talking about this then? Excellent question. The end result is that whether it is cocaine, a glass of wine, a cigarette, or one of many other choices, characters engage in these substances in order to change how they feel. In the case of alcohol in particular, characters may experience a lowering of inhibitions and/or an inability to forcefully object to suggestions or situations that make them uncomfortable. As such, if the authorial intent is to show sexual behavior between or among characters who are able to make fully informed and fully aware decisions about the sexual behavior that is to follow, then having them be high or drunk in the story, may not be the choice that best supports that. Am I saying a character can never get high without setting a timer to see when they get to make fully informed decisions again? Say it with me now – No, I am not. Similarly am I trying to quash every got drunk and woke up married story? No, I am not. (I love those.) It makes story sense to use similar soothing mechanisms for a character in multiple scenes. Just like we all knew what it meant when the Golden Girls reached for cheesecake. If that soothing mechanism is something that can alter the character’s ability to fully consent, then think about what else can be done in the scene to demonstrate that this character is aware and okay. It could be altering your timeline, it could be changing the quantity. There is also the option that one or more characters decide to indicate interest to one another in sexual activity but wait to follow through until another time. And of course, if you are intending to demonstrate bad decision making in your story, then carry on. What we’re trying to avoid here is the “Game of Thrones” situation, where they created a scene that they thought looked consensual, that to many viewers did not, because they had removed all the parts where one character agreed to the behavior.

Before we dive in, I’m going to note that ableism is an area I am still working on myself. As we are discussing some ableist myths, this may be a tough read for some. Please take whatever necessary steps to care for yourself, up to and including skipping this one. As per usual, I already hear fictional author A sighing, and saying fine, if I just have able bodied characters having sex in my stories, can I skip this one? Oh, fictional author A, I would hope that you do not. Because ableism is a thing we should consider even when out main characters are, by all accounts, fully able.
But let’s start with characters who have some long term, chronic, or even acute condition. The character may certainly be nervous if they have not had sex since the onset of the condition. They may also have had this condition most of their lives and the only thing they are nervous about is the response of partner(s) unfamiliar with the condition.
We are now very many words into talking about sex among fictional characters. I obviously believe that sex is and can be an important part of a wonderful life, and can be used to demonstrate growing closeness between characters.
But, sex is not magic. (I mean, unless you are writing paranormal.) Sex can create a large number of pleasurable physical responses, and those things can be great for stress relief and overall happiness. But it also doesn’t materially change a character’s body or their life. A character with a condition who has sex, is still a character with a condition after sex. Certainly the character may experience relief that pre-sex nervousness was less necessary than predicted. Similarly a character who has sex with a person with a condition, is not better or kinder for doing so. As an author, the work still needs to be done to demonstrate why this relationship is going to succeed – if that is your goal. Some typical ableist myths about folks with disabilities and sex: -They don’t need or desire it. (Of course, folks with disabilities can also exist on the asexual spectrum, but society’s default assumption tends to place them there solely on the basis of disability.) -If they do want it, they would have to find someone incredibly kind to get some. (Characters that only have sex out of kindness are not good characters. Again, this may be the authorial intention.) -They would have to pay for it. (Again, paying for sex is a choice characters can make, but should not be presented as an obvious or only choice without further work on the part of the story to ground that.) -If they get sex, that would be a lifelong fulfillment of a dream they never thought they’d achieve. (Um, no. I mean if the sex was really that good, wouldn’t the character want more?) How does this come up with a story that doesn’t feature any disabled characters having sex? I’m so glad you asked. There’s a lot of ableist language we reach for often without thinking about it. Things like, “What are you blind?” or “How lame is that?” are just a few examples of ableist things characters don’t need to say – unless of course your authorial intention is to demonstrate their ableism.

So let’s talk about something that often goes ignored in some fiction. Money. Sure, it comes up when a character needs money to save the community center, it comes up when one character is a billionaire or gazillionaire. But money ties into a lot of decisions characters make about sex, and no I am not solely referring to sex work.
Technically I could have called this section contraception part 5. Because guess what costs money? Contraception does! Guess what also costs money? Babies! If your characters exist in the current US healthcare system, guess what costs money? Healthcare!
So, if your story exists in a world, culture, or universe outside of the modern US, these are still things worth considering:
What kind of money and access to healthcare do your characters have? What are the potential financial and social results of their seeking access for any sort of reproductive related healthcare? What are the potential financial and social results of their having a child? Now, I’ll repeat again, that I am not saying you have to write perfect characters who sit and write lists of all these questions, sort out the accompanying answers, and then behave in accordance with the choices that bring them the greatest amount of pleasure (entendre intended) and avoid all those that will bring them pain. I am suggesting the author should know the answers to these questions. If fictional author A writes a story with a character who is still paying off their student loans, hasn’t held a regular job, and is in danger of being kicked out of their apartment, I the reader am going to be really interested in how that character got access to the pill. And, to use a slightly different metaphor to repeat a point I’ve made before, your story is an iceberg. Some of these details will not need to be on the page. I still enjoyed “Frozen” even though I have no idea how a country survives when it’s queens keep skipping all their court meetings for adventures. Also, I’m a huge pantser. It often doesn’t occur to me to answer these questions, until the second draft. I’m not trying to ruin your fiction, only enhance it. In the first season on the TV show “Shrill”, our main character Annie tells her roommate her boyfriend doesn’t like condoms so they just haven’t been using them. She has been using emergency contraception when she gets pregnant. Except, well, emergency contraception, is – as the show notes, less reliable for folks over a certain weight. Also, while the show does not get into this, the latest studies show sperm can rock up to five days waiting on a cool egg to fertilize, so emergency contraception is a useful choice for folks. But, there is always the chance that by the time the character goes to retrieve the emergency contraception and take it, that they are already pregnant. As Annie talks this through with her roommate, her roommate also notes, that emergency contraception is not a particularly cheap option. So the financial and health burden of this choice has been falling entirely on Annie. So the money your characters have or have been presented as having, should factor into the decisions they make about sex.

Some things I read and enjoyed in the first quarter. Bookshop links included.

This is Not the Jess Show by Anna Carey - Jess starts to notice her life is weird. Her friend at school has a fancy gadget she won’t explain, she can hear weird voices chanting, and her dog is different. When the guy she’s been making out with confesses her life has been televised, Jess can’t believe it. And so she decides to take matters into her own hands. Because Jess believes it’s 1998, it was somewhat nostalgic for those of us who can remember it. Someone asked me if it was basically “The Truman Show” and I feel like yes-ish. Because it’s a book, it can delve more into how Jess feels, and what she learns about why some people engaged in the choices they made.

- A college girl uses a rental service to bring home a guy to convince her parents to stop trying to set her up with this awful guy in town, and well, it is both more and less successful than planned, especially when her rental boyfriend becomes the person who understands her best, and she maybe falls in love with him. This is one where the parents are really not great at listening (the need for a rental boyfriend might have tipped you off there) but the parents motivations are clearly based in a different methodology. Also for folks who like holiday books, this covers Thanksgiving through Lunar New Year.

One of the things the middle school version of the sex ed class I teach does is presents the students with a variety of prospective parents and asks them to determine who they would provide a hypothetical baby to. We are not going to do that here today.
As you might have noticed, one of the themes in these pieces for me is to look at the societal frameworks. Whatever fiction you are writing, be it sci-fi, contemporary, historical, or any other genre or sub-category, it arrives to readers steeped in the now. The choice to be a parent is a choice that is huge in our society, and that was even before we entered into a global pandemic.
In an earlier segment, I noted that pregnancy is neither punishment nor reward. And I still stand by that. But let’s dive a little deeper into that. Pregnancy gets a lot of time in fiction because it is a fascinating life event that literally in a single moment presents a huge change for characters. One could say it’s the original plot twist. (Also, my folks who have had pregnancies, when I say single moment, I mean the recognition of the pregnancy. I am well aware that the pregnancy itself takes a bit of time.)
So when I say pregnancy is neither punishment nor reward, this is not to say that your characters can’t or won’t be excited, concerned, happy, angry, confused, or any other of the myriad of emotions available to them. I am saying, that even in the deepest POV, you as the author, have the opportunity to build and layer into your story why your character thinks that thing. Or those things. And if their initial reaction evolves, you want to take the time to bring your reader on that journey. Other things to note: -There is no ideal age to be pregnant. There may well be ages that the pregnant character is aware that they will experience a lot of judgement from others for being pregnant. -There is no one way to be pregnant. The only universal symptom is a fetus. -Successful conception is not an indicator of a relationship’s longevity. -Successful conception is not a sign that the relationship is on the correct track. Does this mean I am saying no one can write a secret baby story? (Say it with me now.) No! I am not. I am saying that a story that contains pregnancy still has to do all the work if the author’s end goal is to convince me that this relationship is successful. I am saying that a story that contains a character with a past pregnancy – whether it was carried to term or not – is not a signal of anything other than that character having prior sexual experience. I am saying that if you are writing a burgeoning relationship and you add pregnancy into it, then yes, you also have to demonstrate how they would be good parents. And that applies to all members of the relationship equally.

I am going to talk about modern contraception primarily. I do know that there are historical authors who are having their characters use things like sponges, early condoms, and withdrawal, so while the specific choices may not be the same for historical authors, you all are not off the hook. And fantasy authors, you too. In fact, one of my favorite good examples is a selkie vampire urban fantasy.
Disclaimer: This is not a comprehensive list. Think of this as more like a highlight reel, and based on the choices and circumstances surrounding your characters, you can go learn more.
Types of contraception: Surgical Methods: • Tubal ligation is actually most common worldwide, according to a UN study. Tubal ligation is performed to block fallopian tubes, and therefore stop release of eggs. That only eliminates the risk of pregnancy, so if STI’s remain a concern, other methods would need to be employed. • Vasectomy blocks or cuts the vas deferens to prevent sperm from being carried to the penis. This method addresses pregnancy prevention and also eliminates the risk of infection that would be carried in sperm. If infections not carried in sperm are a concern, then other methods would also need to be employed. Hormone centered methods: As an overall note – hormone centered methods currently focus on suppressing or altering estrogen and progestin to alter or suppress ovulation. As such they all carry mental health and other side effects for folks for whom hormone fluctuation causes issues, among other side effects. These methods only address pregnancy prevention, and therefore if STI’s remain a concern, other methods would need to be employed. There are health conditions where the stabilization of hormones, or the increase of them, is useful, so these methods can also be prescribed for other conditions too.
• The Pill – The pill refers to a variety of oral hormonal pills that can be taken to suppress egg release in the uterus. • Hormonal Patch – a patch placed weekly to enact a slow release of hormones. • Injectables – A variety of products that can be injected into the skin or muscle to enact a slow release of hormones over a period of time. • Implants – a hormone capsule inserted under the skin to release hormones over a longer period of time. They are considered a Long Acting Reversible Contraceptive (LARC) which makes them useful for folks who are certain that pregnancy is not in their immediate future. • Emergency Contraception is also hormonal. It is provided in oral form after unprotected sex, giving the hormones a chance to try and beat the sperm. It will not end or interfere with a conception that has occurred prior to the pill being administered. Barrier Methods: • Condoms – are available in both more well-known roll-on form and the internal form. The internal condoms are often harder to access, and more expensive, but can be inserted farther in advance of sexual activity. Condoms prevent pregnancy and most STIs. • Diaphrams and Sponges – Inserted vaginally prior to intercourse, and often treated with spermicide. If treated with spermicide, these methods can provide some STI protection. • IUDs – An Intrauterine Device (IUD) that is inserted into the uterus to thicken the cervical mucus and interfere with sperm travel, thereby preventing pregnancy. Many are made of copper, so are not useful to those with copper allergies. IUDs are also considered Long Acting Reversible Contraceptive (LARC). IUDs do not provide STI protection. Lifestyle Methods: Withdrawal – a method of engaging in sexual activity where one partner withdraws before ejaculation, in the hopes of eliminating partner contact with sperm. Generally sperm is transmitted prior to ejaculation, as well as during ejaculation, so this method somewhat reduces the likelihood of pregnancy or infection transmission, but not by much. Fertility Awareness methods – These methods rely on monitoring of various bodily indicators along the menstrual cycle to determine days of higher likelihood of pregnancy conception. This method can be used both in prevention and attempts to provoke a pregnancy.

Now, to a certain extent, if you are still reading, I assume you have or are planning to include contraception in your fiction. But let’s talk a little about why. As previously discussed, novels are not a replacement for sex ed, nor should they be.
But as we’ve also discussed, given varying levels of education and information among readers, you cannot assume that readers know that they shouldn’t put the condoms in the glove compartment even though that’s where you had your character stash them, or that they know to sterilize the dildo between uses.
Reasons your characters might discuss and/or make use of contraception: - Realism/reflection of contemporary life - Insight into the character. I assume this one has mostly been explained at this point but the choices characters make regarding sex, even and especially regarding contraception, are not value neutral. They provide insight into the character.
- Demonstration of the character’s emotional mindset - Showing the characters’ comfort (or discomfort) level with one another. - Modeling ideal behavior I often think of contraception in fiction, much like seatbelts. If you watch older movies or TV shows before they made the rule that everyone had to wear seatbelts, it now looks terribly odd. Didn’t they care about themselves and their passengers? Why would they do that. But if a TV or movie character puts on a seatbelt, it just seems normal. Even if they are in a hurry. A lot of sex ed in this country focuses primarily on penis vagina contact. That may be the only sexual contact occurring in your book. But. Some notes. LGBTQ teens (and adults) tend to zone out during a lot of this, because they assume it doesn’t apply to them. However, as we know, contraception can also provide prevention against infections and that applies equally to everyone engaging in sexual contact where genitals are involved. There are dental dams. Condoms can be used for anal sex. For characters using a dildo, they may choose to use a condom if it hasn’t been sanitized since the last usage. There has been some pushback particularly in the gay community that condoms are used too much in male/male romance. That a lot of this has to do with the inherent assumption that men engaging in sex with men are at higher risk for disease. This is an unfair stereotype. Anal sex does carry a higher risk of disease transmission, but gay men are not the only people who engage in anal sex, and there is no evidence that gay men engage in anal sex at a higher rate than any other population. This is particularly something to consider if your story or series features couples across the spectrum of sexuality. Another thing to keep in mind is the age of your characters. In the US, we have been seeing a huge rise in sexually transmitted infections (STI)s among senior citizens. There are a variety of factors contributing to this. They include: no pregnancy concerns, a population less accustomed to navigating multiple partners, and a gender imbalance. Your story may not feature senior citizens engaging in on page sex, and that’s fine. But it leads into another issue. If your characters make the choice to go for testing rather than a barrier method of contraception, in our world (your world may vary, of course) that test demonstrates infection that is detectable that day. We’ve already touched on how apps might mean you are no longer in communication with a prior partner. Tests can take up to three months to show contraction of an STI. Depending on the timeframe of your story, that may be longer than your characters are willing to wait for sexual contact. Another point I want to make, is that regular readers have been trained to a certain extent. When I watch a TV show and see a character in a car just humming along and doing nothing else, I now brace for the car to get slammed by something. Similarly readers have become accustomed to a variety of mentions of contraception. Any time an author leaves it out, the reader is likely to assume there is either pregnancy or disease on the way.

One of the things a lot of novels don’t spend a lot of time on is outercourse. Outercourse is a broad term that includes a wide range of sexual behavior that does not involve penetration of a penis. Much like some of the other terms we’ve discussed, there is some variation as to what falls into outercourse versus intercourse. Some folks include anal and oral sex as outercourse. Some folks include toys.
Now certain there is quite a bit of fiction that includes outercourse. In many cases, however, fictional outercourse is included as a prelude to intercourse. (I confess, I have done this myself in fiction.)
Now am I saying that X percent of scenes going forward need to be outercourse only, no intercourse? Nope! As with much of what we are discussing in this series, these are points to consider. And certainly, depending on the configuration of your couple, outercourse might be all that they ever engage in.
We’ll talk more about risk again later, but as a note, outercourse generally does not carry a risk of pregnancy. But depending on the various character’s actions, sexually transmitted infections (STIs) may still be a concern. However, certain forms of outercourse may be an option for your characters in one of the following situations: -One or more characters are not quite ready for penetrative sex -One or more characters has had trouble orgasming through penetrative sex -One or more characters wishes to explore more directly the things that arouse another character -The characters do not have access to contraception -The characters are somewhere that engaging in penetrative sex carries more risk than sticking with outercourse. -The characters are bored with just penetrative sex. -One or more characters is menstruating and wishes to skip penetrative sex. There are more options than that of course. Some of these may or may not apply to your story and/or your characters. In a similar vein, I would suggest that old-fashioned terminology for sex, such as comparing sex to a baseball diamond reinforces the idea that anything that doesn’t result in a home run is a failure. Your characters may well be left wanting more from their encounter. Your characters may be intentionally teasing the sexual tension. But while penetrative sex is often something characters are aiming towards, demonstrating that they can find satisfaction in one another is just as important in outercourse as it is elsewhere.

There is a tendency in our culture to put a lot of parameters around acceptable behavior. Sexual behavior is especially prone to this. As an author the choices that make sense for your story and your characters are up to you. My goal here is to make sure you have fully considered those choices.
It may seem odd that I have lumped together pregnancy, infection, and disease. I have done so because all three of these are possible results of sexual behavior. Some characters may wish for one of these outcomes over the other, or may feel any one of them is unwanted.
Characters in your book may be jerks with misinformation about pregnancy, infections, and/or disease. Your job as an author is to both be aware of the culture that surrounds that, and – unless your intention is to support those beliefs – have the story counter that. There are a number of ways to achieve this, through supportive side characters, through the POV character’s inner monologue, and so on,
If one of your characters contracted a sexually transmitted infection (STI), it can be something that is uncomfortable for them (on multiple levels), something they struggle to find the correct words to disclose to their partner. But, I personally, would love to see more characters who have had an STI and don’t consider it is because they were bad, their partner was bad, or anything else. Sure, they can regret not having used a different form of contraception that day. Similarly, characters who have been pregnant, regardless of whether they carried that pregnancy to term or not, should not consider the pregnancy a moral judgement. It may have really changed their life plans, it may have clarified their feelings about the relationships they were in, all of that is totally fair. But pregnancies are neither punishments nor rewards. Similarly, if you have a character having trouble conceiving, they may absolutely have days where they wish they could change things by dancing under the light of the moon, or otherwise changing their behavior. Your story should be clear that infertility is not a judgement. And all these cases the characters may operate in a society that judges these results very harshly. Also, I can hear a few of you saying, well, absolutely, after the bleak moment they will suddenly realize that they had been wrong about that wrong thing. And yes, that is an option. I would suggest adding content warnings in that case. Some of your readers don’t need to be smacked in the face with the judgments they get enough of in real life. Also, if you feel that you don’t have time to counter these societal judgements in your story, that’s fine. I suggest taking a close look to make sure your story doesn’t have anything in it that would need countering. Or considering why it’s important to your story to have characters that are wrong and not counter that. It may be what your story needs. But as mentioned previously, you cannot count on your readership to have consistent and complete factual information. While fiction is not a substitute for that, consider treating it as you would other aspects of the world you would not expect your audience to already know about.

A couple of caveats before we get into this. I am in my forties. I like to think I keep up to date with such things, but I am generally doing so as a spectator these days, so take this all with that in mind.
If you have yet to start dating, or have not dated in a while, the excellent news is that the fundamentals of folks meeting other folks that they find attractive, share common interests with has not changed. Except of course that those are only the fundamentals in some cultures and societies, and even many of those, only for the last fifty years or so. But I digress.
Since we are functionally here to talk about fictional sex, I bring up dating to talk a little bit the rise of apps and how that has changed things. The biggest change of course, is simply access. In theory, a person downloading any and all of the various dating apps has access to tons of people both nearby and across the world. It allows one to feel endlessly choosy.
Of course, as with anything, there are other factors that come into play with this kind of interaction. Apps that focus on pictures, are obviously going to prioritize traditional standards of beauty, which can leave out anyone outside that definition. Apps that focus on jobs or salaries, will also do the same. And of course, the focus on textual communication means that putting things like “enjoys hiking” is sometimes viewed as code for in good shape. Of course, your story may or may not include apps. Or it may include better apps than the ones we have. Or your characters may be in space, which may limit nearby options. But understanding what some trends in current dating are, can still be useful background. Another reason I bring this up is that there are some specific things that happen when one communicates via app. Because the apps offer in app communication, folks could theoretically chat, meet up, have sex, and then decide not to pursue any further communication and either block one another on the app, or delete the app altogether. As a result, someone could discover they have contracted a sexually transmitted infection (STI) and/or become pregnant and have no way to contact the other person. Whether these factor into your character’s current story or their past, or even not at all, it’s something to consider.

Authors spend a lot of time - whether before, during, or after the first draft (Hi my pantser friends!) - building a character’s backstory.  Other than determining if the character has ever had sex before, not as much of this tends to be focused on the sexual history of the characters. 

As with so many of the things we are discussing, backstory is seasoning.  In most cases, more of your story – at least the parts you share with the reader – is focused on the now.  But spending time thinking through some of this can be useful in creating fully rounded characters. 

Some examples to consider include –

Is this the first time the character is having sex?  (Assuming there is sex in your story, which there may not be.) 

While we are primarily going to discuss what positive and enthusiastic consent looks like today, I am aware this can be a difficult topic for some who might have interest in the rest of the information.  So, putting a little space here, so nothing shows up in the email preview. 

Also, this will be in the resource page as well, but: RAINN has resources and info to discuss sexual assault, and assisting loved ones who have experienced it, as well as links for those outside the US: The National Sexual Assault Hotline is available 24/7: Telephone: 800.656.HOPE (4673) Online chat: online.rainn.org Español: rainn.org/es

When it comes to sexual activity, it’s worth noting that in the US several states have enacted affirmative consent laws.  Of course, just as fictional characters can speed or smoke, well, it’s up to you if that factors into your story. 

It’s also worth considering that if your character is keeping a secret that would affect another character(s) willingness to participate, that is in some ways a violation of consent. 

While we are primarily going to discuss what positive and enthusiastic consent looks like today, I am aware this can be a difficult topic for some who might have interest in the rest of the information.  So, putting a little space here, so nothing shows up in the email preview. 

Also, this will be in the resource page as well, but: RAINN has resources and info to discuss sexual assault, and assisting loved ones who have experienced it, as well as links for those outside the US: The National Sexual Assault Hotline is available 24/7: Telephone: 800.656.HOPE (4673) Online chat: online.rainn.org Español: rainn.org/es

Okay.  RAINN’s definition of consent includes that it is provided, for a specific activity or activities, and can be altered or rescinded at any time. 

Some of you may have also seen the cup of tea video (Note: That link contains swearing), and I think that video makes a couple of important points.  First, consent isn’t just about sex.  In your daily life (even pre-pandemic, but oh gosh, definitely amid a contagious pandemic) there are boundaries that you navigate constantly with friends, family, co-workers and strangers.

There are lots of reasons people find each other attractive, and it can often be a process or it can be immediate. 

In social psychology, they often talk about people who have commonalities forming social groups.  And of course, a concept that will be very familiar to romance authors, is that of proximity.  The typical stages are that a person starts at disinterest, and through repeated contact moves to interest, then perhaps adding passion and commitment. 

Am I saying characters have to proceed through all these steps in order?  Of course not.  In fact starting with passion but assuming no commitment is a pretty common order of operations in life and in fiction. 

The other thing to consider is that physical attraction is only one available aspect of attraction.  Folks on the asexual spectrum may be less motivated by eyes, jawlines, or other physical characteristics.  They may be more interested in a person who they have gotten to know in an intimate fashion prior to any sexual behavior.

Gender is not a binary. Even looking purely at the biological expressions found in humans, there are more than two. Equivalents to the variations that humans refer to as intersex occur in other mammals to. 

When you add in gender identity and/or gender expression, there are even more variations and layers. 

Now, you may be thinking, well, but I’m only writing about heterosexual cisgender characters, so none of this is going to come up. 

And I would say to you, my friend, that actually, it does.  For example if fictional author A, writes in their book a sentence like one of the following, then fictional author A has made a statement about gender on the whole, and not just their character: 

I suspect some of you are thinking, yawn, we already talked about values.  As someone who has taught comprehensive sex ed in a church, I want to note a couple of things.  There is often an assumption in fiction that a character being religious is code for them being prudish, believing sex can only occur within the confines of marriage, and other various things.  This is certainly true for some forms of religion. But it many ways this is like saying a character is from Texas so must therefore eat beef at every meal.  There are definitely people who eat beef in Texas.  There are also of course people who like chicken,, people who are vegetarian, people who think cows should not be eaten, and all other forms of people. 

The same is true of religion. Religious Coalition for Reproductive Choice has folks of most major and many smaller congregations who have provided religiously based support for people making the sexual and reproductive health decisions that make the most sense for them.

There are whole branches of religion that believe that sex can be an important part of being a spiritual being and that sexual decision can happen without and within formal binding relationships.  Sex positivity is not confined to non-religious, a-religious, or lapsed religious people.

Am I really just trying to make everyone's writing hard?  No, I swear I am not.  But just like being from Texas isn't enough character work to build a whole character, being XYZ religion isn't an explanation in and of itself for anything about a character either.

The choices characters make regarding sex are an expression of their values.  For romance authors in particular, this should not be new information, but it’s true for all authors.  If your protagonist is careless about the feelings and pleasure of their sexual partners, that is saying something to the reader about the character.  If the character is interested in, and willing to work for the pleasure of their sexual partners, that also says something about them. 

The choices and conversations that those characters have about contraception can also indicate interest and concern about the well-being of both themselves and their partners. 

Values can be kind of a loaded word sometimes, but in the end, as authors we are often trying to show how characters learn and grow.  We are often trying to demonstrate that a character who hadn’t felt appreciated or like they had something to offer, realizes that they do.  Or a confident character can discover vulnerability doesn’t make them weak.  Or a grumpy character can discover some interest in softness.  In the end, these are all an expression of values. 

Romance authors with on page sex scenes, sometimes find themselves defending those scenes, noting the character growth that happens on those pages.  This is true for non-romance authors, and also for authors who don’t include explicit sex scenes.  The ways the characters treat each other, and demonstrate their attraction to each other, are expressions of their values. 

Fiction, even contemporary or realistic fiction is not intended to be a replacement for education.  I think we all agree on that.  But even in genres like sci-fi and fantasy, there are things we want to feel real for our readers.  One thing to note – while I think the info and points are useful to all authors, I am sure there are ways that my background in romance and YA are going to inform my position. 

Of course, you might say, but that doesn’t mean that our characters make the best choices.  And that is true, characters often make a series of bad or misguided decisions before they make better ones.  However, there are things an author can do to signal to the reader that these are not the best choices. 

Where am I going with this? 

Well, let’s talk about where and how you learned about sex. 

Sex scenes provide authors an opportunity to explore their characters more deeply.  (Pun intended!)  Fiction is not a how-to manual, but sex scenes are about more than how much description the author dedicates to the act. 

The choices characters make, from communication to contraception, are an often underutilized way demonstrate your characters experiences and expectations of both the world and their relationship expectations.  In this series, we’ll take a look at some of the basics of how the choices characters make regarding reveal their character.

First – let’s talk about what this series isn’t.  This series isn’t a replacement for a good sex ed class.  Comprehensive sex ed covers everything things like anatomy, physiology, gender identity, and so much more. 

-What I will cover in this series includes contraception, values, how backstory may play into current sexual wishes, and reasons for on page consent.