D. Paul Harrison

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D. Paul Harrison - Notes on the weirdest topic, myself

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Hello

Hey all! I still haven’t been sharing these anywhere, so “all” is wrong. I’m just gonna turn on the twitter integration I made after I think one more update, since I do want to get back to publishing regularly.

Notes about myself

#17
December 29, 2021
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D. Paul Harrison - Experienced Points - 11/22/2021

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Hello

Things have been weird! Weirder than usual, even. It feels like I’m at an inflection point of my life, and I have to decide between comfort and possibly doing something more significant with what I am attempting to do professionally. It is hard to bust out of something comfortable for something new - but I do sometimes worry that the allure of the new is more than enough, for me. I worry about what this says about me as a person.

Writing has been slow, Ive felt more burnt out recently than I probably ever have before in my entire life. Burnout is a hard thing to complain about, for me. It is an end-state and a beginning-state, a constant flux of feelings that cause you to feel empty creatively and motivationally. Attempts to break it can be significant challenges; maybe you think changing your circumstances will fix it, maybe you think changing your physical position will do it, maybe drink less, maybe drink more. In the end though, it’s a combination of internal and external factors that cause you to be burnt out. Sometimes you can’t do anything about it, and sometimes you can, and it’s important to try to figure out which is which.

#16
November 22, 2021
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D. Paul Harrison - Experienced Points - 10/16/2021

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Hello!

Things have been going strange, for sure. I went on and then back off some new psychiatric medication (I mean, new to me), which knocked me off my game a bit. Things are starting to improve now that I am off it, but it’s definitely true that massive side effects caused more depression than the medication itself was solving.

#15
October 16, 2021
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D. Paul Harrison - 4 - Experienced Points

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Hello

Hey all, definitely not been keeping a good schedule on this, so going back to generic titling. Just one last barrier off me to actually posting. Things have been going alright, I’m still a bit burnt out, but I’m taking a full month off from drinking, and then will probably consider whether to reinstate my “no drinking at home” rule that went out the door the moment the pandemic started, and I… had no choice. I am very functional when drinking, but it was beginning to be excessive again. Probably will improve my health, as well.

#14
August 20, 2021
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D. Paul Harrison - 3 - The Suicide Squad

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Hello

I wrote a bunch of words about The Suicide Squad.

#13
August 9, 2021
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D. Paul Harrison - 2 - Heathcliff and other monsters

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Hello!

— Paul Harrison (@dpaulharrison)

#12
August 3, 2021
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D. Paul Harrison - 1 - Life, exploration, and movement.

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Hello!

Got off my schedule, but will be back on it from now on. Going with a slightly different format for the title, as well, which might help the situation. From now on, I will go twice a week - likely Mondays and Thursdays, and that may help me through whatever writer’s blocks that I possess.

#11
July 25, 2021
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D. Paul Harrison - Experienced Points - 7/8/2021

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Hello

Been a week of productivity and attempting to reset myself through means other than alcohol. I’m taking a solid week off drinking, and am on the 5th day. Apparently I wasn’t as dependent as I thought - no major side effects, though I’ve been giving myself leeway to just sit and stare into space a bit.

#10
July 8, 2021
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D. Paul Harrison - Experienced Points - 7/4/2021

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Hello

#9
July 4, 2021
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D. Paul Harrison - Experienced Points 7/1/2021

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Hello

Still been rough going, but I think I’m going to plan some time off soon and try to reset. My current plan of drinking until I reboot is not actually helping. On the other hand, maybe it is. I only feel like it makes things worse when I feel bad, and things better when I feel good, and the balance has been severely upset.

#8
July 1, 2021
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D. Paul Harrison - Experienced Points - 6/29/2021

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Hello

I’ve been in a dark place the last little bit, and I’m trying not to force myself to do things. I won’t be outputting my best work in such a state, anyway, but it’s hard to not feel like I am wasting time. Mostly since it’s difficult to see how it’ll get any better, no matter how much I know it will.

#7
June 29, 2021
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D. Paul Harrison - Experienced Points - 6/25/2021

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Hello

I’m starting to feel like I am coming down with something, so this one is a bit delayed! It is hard to tell, as usual, how much is physical and how much is psychological. I’m trying a lot of things, and rearranging my medications and whatnot, to try to see what works. So far, nothing has. Probably going to hit the doctor in the next week. Hence this shorter one, as well.

#6
June 25, 2021
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D. Paul Harrison - Experienced Points (Father’s Day Special) - 6/20/2021

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Hello

Hello, and happy father’s day. My dad died a few years ago, and was mostly dead for a decade before that. My sisters always told me “You never really knew him,” and “he used to be different”, but I never knew this person. I just knew the person who was distant, emotionally abusive, and barely existed in my life. His only empathy was transactional, and while this occasionally led to the correct conclusions - he taught me to overtip, for example, because then you’ll get treated well, next time - and that extended to most things in his life.

#5
June 20, 2021
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D. Paul Harrison - Experienced Points - 6/18/2021

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Hello!

Diving deep into some technical security things as a distraction, but getting a lot of work done, otherwise. Next week I am going to spend some time seeing if it is even actually POSSIBLE for me to do freelance work in the industry I am in (you know, besides writing), so wish me luck.

#4
June 18, 2021
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D. Paul Harrison - Experienced Points - 6/15/2021

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Hello!

Missed a day, but rather than guilting myself about it, just getting back to it. This is growth. I mean, I think.

#3
June 15, 2021
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D. Paul Harrison - Experienced Points - 6/10/2021

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Hello

Happy the newsletter part of this came together, it took me a long time to figure out how to effectively do this.

#2
June 10, 2021
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D. Paul Harrison - Experienced Points - 6/8/2021

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Hello

I’ve been relaxing by fixing some styling and adding newsletter support to this blog (coming tonight, assuming this one tests out okay), which is weird. I have a lot of trouble splitting hobbies from work, which I guess is why I’ve gotten paid for so many hobbies.

#1
June 8, 2021
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