I’ve been thinking about the difference between removing inputs and adding inputs. It’s so easy to focus on the removing — clean out the closet, stop following the person you’re constantly comparing yourself to, have fewer cups of coffee. But what about adding in or increase? What’s bringing more pleasure, more community, more ease? There’s value in reduction, but it gets so easily caught up in damaging systems. Conspicuous consumption loves “downsizing” because it creates a more space for the same shit we didn’t need in the first places. Instead of creating a field, it creates a vacuum. Diet culture loves when we feel like we need less, less, less because it can tell us that we’re too much (and the only answer is self-negation).
Something I’ve learned from abolition and restorative culture is that the focus can’t just be on removing — we have to focus on creating and adding. Removing prisons isn’t in and of itself the answer, creating structure of care is the answer (using those to displace the care-negating systems we have now).
It feels so much more comfortable to me to focus on the things I want to rid myself of, but what about the things I want or need to add? That feels much more challenging, more uncomfortable, to name and pursue.
In last week’s episode, we talked about compulsory heterosexuality with the help of some of our listeners! Comp het can be a difficult topic to unpack, and we are so grateful to you for being brave and vulnerable in the letters you sent us.
We found this tutorial on how to make a disco ball chandelier and now we want one in every room!
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Chelsee & Christina