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Since Feeling Is First
$ · May 14, 2024
I spend more time thinking about the ways my life isn't what I want it to be than I do on anything else, mixed in with a sprinkling of how everyone else is...
Constant Reader
May 7, 2024
I have belonged to Stephen King since I was 8 years old, trembling and terrified in the doorway between living room and kitchen with the 1990 IT miniseries...
Holding My Wounds At Bay
$ · April 30, 2024
I would have liked to have something better for you for the two-month installment of this newsletter, but it comes on the heels of one of the worst weeks...
I'm Just Thinking 'Bout Love
$ · April 23, 2024
My plan was to write about Stephen King this week, because it's honestly shocking that I've made it this far into the newsletter without doing it, but that's...
Emotional Pornography
$ · April 16, 2024
This is not the post I had originally planned to offer you today, but it's the one you get because life will insist on happening. I've been suffocated by...
On How to Be Present
April 9, 2024
I am frequently very resentful of my therapist because he's good at his job. He's right more often than he's not and he leads me to discuss things I would...
Hoping Machine is Down for Maintenance
$ · April 2, 2024
I'm not thrilled with anything I've written in the past week and I almost decided not to write this at all, but I've committed to it and you pay money for...
On Penny and Sparrow and Being a Creature for Their Love
$ · March 26, 2024
It's been a month since I started this newsletter, so what better time than now to write about the number 1 band of my heart? I am not a music critic. I...
On Dear Emmie Blue and My Not Quite Dead Yet Heart
$ · March 19, 2024
I just finished reading Dear Emmie Blue by Lia Louis, and as soon as I read the final word, I came to write this post. I should probably stop writing these...
Tender Masculinity
March 13, 2024
It's possible to love men without rage. There are thousands of ways to love men.--Lidia Yuknavitch, The Chronology of Water I have carried this quote with me...
Halleluiah, Anyway I'm Not Where I Started
$ · March 5, 2024
This could be a companion piece to last week's post, because I'm nothing if not endlessly fixated on the same themes. I'm almost 35 and I'm still alive. I...
How to Be Idle and Blessed
$ · February 27, 2024
I would like to start off this newsletter with a light, casual conversation about death. Go with me here. As a child, my first memory of having a nightmare...
My Body, Myself
February 22, 2024
It’s so hard to be a person. I used to feel like an alien trying to approximate human speech when I communicated with people, as though the words in my head...
Why I Write
February 22, 2024
Because words are a feast and I am perpetually starving. Because the wind is harsh and biting and the wolves are howling outside the door, and words are the...
A Spell for the Missing
February 22, 2024
I am sitting here in the quiet of my living room with a cat on my lap, waiting for Italian food to get to me, and I’m thinking, I wish you were here. It’s a...
So This Is the New Year
February 22, 2024
Death Cab for Cutie sings, “So this is the new year, and I don’t feel any different.” It’s an arbitrary date, one that doesn’t mean much unless you want it...
Introduction
February 22, 2024
December doesn’t feel like a time of growing or creating, but a time where we’re all still and dreaming, waiting for the new year when we can once again...
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