A year ago my life was different than it is today. Close to 2,000 people follow this tumblr and that in and of itself is very different. Everyone on the internet says this but I can’t imagine why anyone would want to read the things I have to say and learn more about my life. I get it, I think. We have these boxes filled with images and sounds and words that overstimulate us and yet sometimes we just want to see something that is just like us, a connection of some sort. Or maybe even we just want to see something entirely different than anything else we know. I mean, these are the things I seek on the internet at least. The internet feels smaller than it used to and I wonder if anyone had any idea that it would lead us to be such a naked generation when they were first dialing up a bunch of years back. I have told more to a faceless connection of circuits than I have to my therapist, my writing has been more raw, more experimental on a blog than it ever has been in a writing workshop, thousands of people have seen me without makeup while in the past, I wouldn’t step out of the house without it. The internet has torn down walls I have built because if you can expose who you are to the anonymous, faceless cruelty that it is, real life doesn’t seem nearly as hard. It has made me live and be ready for more by simultaneously making me feel more and making my skin thicker. In 2010, it feels like if you can make it on the internet, you can make it anywhere.
I have a forever love/hate relationship with the internet. I hate that it feeds my procrastination but I love fantasy baseball and gifs and videos of cats playing keyboard. I hate that it reminds me of how far some people are but it also helps me keep them closer than ever, even seeing their faces in conversation. I hate that topics get hijacked by trolls and people being entirely off-topic but I love that anyone can say whatever they please and express themselves. I hate mindless vanity but I love that there are communities that help people build self-worth. In the past two years, the internet has brought me new friends, new interests, new paths I want to take in my life, my love, and in many respects, myself. I haven’t known what to blog lately but it feels like there’s a back and forth between life and expression; the more I live the more I have to express creativity in some outlet, and the more I create the more I want to take in and see and experience. We’ve been doing it forever, now it’s just as simple as opening your browser.
— You’ve Escaped, April 2010