Two weeks' notice
I wish the Barenaked Ladies had a song called Two Weeks.
On Friday, June 10th, 2022, I put in my two weeks' notice. I am leaving my unionized, tenure-track position after about 3 years. It's a decision I'm not making lightly; I've thought about it for over 6 months and started getting the ball rolling at the end of January. If you've been following me on Twitter or know me otherwise, you've heard about my experiences.
I had a nervous breakdown or something close to one in January, largely due to workplace circumstances. I took almost the entire month off. When I got back, another thing happened that was the final straw. Coincidentally, almost the same day, I got invited to apply for a position elsewhere. And that, as they say, was that. I started job hunting, when I thought I wouldn't need to do so for at least another 7 years if not more. I got invited to interview with the place that eventually hired me (not the position I was invited to apply for), in February, first interview in March, meeting with the college dean and campus visit in early April, meeting with the college president in early May, and I got a job offer May 19th.
The whole time, I kept thinking, "Things are getting better. My meds are good. I'm doing better," but I would be swiftly reminded that no, my "better" was never good enough, never good enough quickly enough. I was told several things that, had my contract not been renewed, I could probably sue for; although, I reported them, and nothing came of that.
Remember kids: HR is not your friend.
It's probably a dick move to only give two weeks' notice for a faculty position. They do not deserve otherwise. I can only hope my soon-to-be-former colleagues realize the extra work they will probably have to do and then won't get paid extra for is not because I'm leaving, it's because the powers at be won't give the library money or resources to lighten that load.
I hope they all realize the exact reason why I'm leaving.
I've felt weak and embarrassed about the whole thing. Running away from something my colleagues can clearly handle. Not getting tenure. Not getting a second master's degree.
Here's the thing they sometimes don't tell you about running away. There's usually something worth running towards, but you might need to run away to realize it.
Two weeks from today, I'll be in my new position. I'll update this post when I'm allowed to say what it is.
✒️ What I'm writing
I've been taking fleeting notes all week, but I have not written anything from them yet. I'm taking a Zettelkasten course, so I'm trying to slow down and focus on that workflow.
🎨 What I'm creating
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Feminist Scrapbooking - librarypunk
My podcast had Kristin Tweedale on to talk about feminist scrapbooking. It was rad as hell. I was still in Cronenberg BODY IS REALITY mode from seeing Crimes of the Future, so all the medium is the message stuff flying at me was too much for my weak constitution to handle.
No art this week, though I did get an idea for a piece while looking at a Sol LeWitt piece that reminded me of knowledge graphs.
📖 What I'm reading
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I have to say, I've moved away from being annoyed by web3 evangelists who tout the whole "web1: read. web2: read, write. web3: read, write, own" nonsense. I mean, I still am annoyed about the complete ignorance of basic internet history and data stewardship. But really, I'm just sad. I'm sad to see people get tricked by catchy rhetoric.
I saw the above tweet and went, finally, using their own rhetorical bullshit against them. Couldn't have said it better myself.
Note: No, I will not tone down about how destructive the web3/crypto movement is. I don't care how annoying I get.
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Notes on a Genre by Robin Sloan
This post on genre and artificial intelligence has been stuck in my head all week. I am physically restraining myself from copy/pasting every single word of the post into this page. I mean, I've felt this way about most all of Robin Sloan's nonfiction I've read, so it's not a huge surprise. Sloan comes right out of the gate calling AI bullshit. More precisely, he says that a lot of the text and art AI tools are bullshitters. There's no there there, but they desperately need to always produce and fill space. To quote:
“The liar cares about the truth and attempts to hide it; the bullshitter doesn’t care if what they say is true or false, but cares only whether the listener is persuaded.”
I love the point Sloan makes about the fact that these tools require a text prompt. It's not necessarily what the tool produces that we care about, but rather "the spectacle of the computer’s interpretation." It's not just that the computer could generate art of Margaret Thatcher meeting Satan (and surprise, she's meeting herself), it's that we were funny enough to think of that prompt and the computer met our expectations, showing our cleverness. The AI's output is more a reflection of the person giving the input than it is of its own artificial intelligence.
Naturally, this leads Sloan to discuss AI artists as leveraging that bullshit and obfuscated ego. "I see what you did there" is their genre. He compares AI art to the early days of synths:
AI art recalls the early days of synthesizers, perhaps; what was Switched-On Bach if not “I see what you did there”? I hope that analogy is right, because the synth provides a healthy, sustainable prototype for this genre. Ubiquitous and unremarkable, controllable and hackable, with flavors ranging from the fully corporate to the gloriously DIY … I’m realizing, as I type this, that synthesizers might be one of the truly utopian technologies.
Side note: I recommend listening to Switched-On Bach, if you've never had the pleasure and can get a copy of it (alas, it's not online anywhere I know of). I felt like I won the lottery when I snagged it on vinyl for only four fucking dollars at a local record store, tucked away with the rest of the classical music. Nothing slaps as hard as Brandenburg No. 3 Allegro.
I have mixed feelings about AI, from what little I know about it. However, I agree with Sloan here about using AI to make art that draws attention to itself a little bit, art that exists to channel the ideas and intentions of an artist, and where the interpretation of the tool is half the point.
It's a bit, forgive me for always bringing it up, rhizomatic. Don't make the synthesizers something they aren't. Let them be synthesizers and do cool things with them you couldn't do with other instruments. Same with these AI art generators. This trend of creating Twitter shitposts with them has got to be one of my favorite things on Twitter recently.
🎥 What I'm watching
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Industrial Symphony n° 1. David Lynch by Angelo Badalamenti, Julee Cruise Full Concert
Rest in Peace, Julee Cruise.
🎶 What I'm listening to
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Internet Fiction - Rite Gud podcast
I love the Rite Gud podcast, and this episode with guest R.E. Parrish was delightful. Weird format fiction, postmodern nonsense that can only exist in one medium, that's the shit right there. Not to get Formalist on Main, but often I find the medium and structure of a text (yes, I'm using that in the snooty "everything is a text" way) more interesting than the text itself.