whygodwhy #11: how to breathe the same oxygen as me
I’m reading with a bunch of very talented people this Thursday the 30th at 8PM in Boston. Everyone will be reading weird/funny pop culture pieces. It will be extremely fun and it would be awesome to see some friendly faces in the audiences! Here's the flyer:
OK that’s the time-sensitive news, here are some other things I have been doing since the last time I emailed you:
I wrote a book called Kim Kardashian: Trapped In Her Own Game. Paris Hilton banishes Kim to live inside her own game. Kim must learn to wield the magical power of emoji in order to escape and return to her life. The first chapter was featured on Cosmo. To date the book has 1.8 MILLION reads. More about how insane this is and What It Means to me later on in this same email.
Comedy Central commissioned me to write fanfiction about their new show Another Period, which stars Natasha Leggero and Michael Ian Black and Christina Hendricks. They were very hands-off and easy to work with and let me do whatever I want, so I wrote the backstory for the dog, Mayor Cutie, who you see pictured above, wearing a tiny hat.
And if you’re more interested in non-fiction I wrote a thing about body issues and why I love Spanx.
I’m currently working on a sequel to Kim K Trapped In Her Own Game, called Kim Kardashian: #BreakTheGame. In this book Zayn Malik from One Direction goes missing, along with a bunch of other handsome male celebrities. Taylor Swift and Beyoncé accuse Kim of being responsible. She must ONCE AGAIN return to the world inside her game in order to prove her innocence and bring back Zayn. (I promise it makes its own sense if you read it.)
Writing these Kim K books has created a fandom - readers create hashtag names for characters they want to see together, and they write derivative stories of their own, and make fan art inspired by the stories, and they beg and plead for me to write chapters faster. There are people reading this paragraph who will think: Kevin's writing books about Kim Kardashian? Ugh. But listen: it's the best fucking thing.
OK that’s it. I was going to write an apology about how long it's been since my last email, but who cares? Not me! You don't want more emails and I am a person who enjoys doing things more than he enjoys talking about doing things. Everyone is getting their needs met, imo.
Love you. Thank you for reading! SEE YOU THURSDAY???