The Polymath Group - Volume IV Issue 1
On Not Having an Opinion
My favorite essay from Jia Tolentino’s excellent book,Trick Mirror, is The I in the Internet. I think it should be required reading for all internet users. There is a lot in this essay that I think about often, but one part that has been on my mind lately is this;
In real life, you can walk around living life and be visible to other people. But you can’t just walk around and be visible on the internet–for anyone to see you, you have to act. You have to communicate in order to maintain an internet presence. And, because the internet’s central platforms are built around personal profiles, it can seem–first at a mechanical level, and later on as an encoded instinct–like the main purpose of this communication is to make yourself look good.
I feel like this idea has application in several current problems with the internet and social media as a whole. Lately, it has felt like things have pushed further out than just being on the internet. This idea that we have to comment to be seen or to be apart of the group leads us to this place where we have to have an opinion on every topic. It is the natural outcome; when someone shares something, you have to comment or reply to it to feel included. In many ways, this is also about tribes and identity, but that is a bigger topic for another day.
The media companies are all well aware of this aspect of our personalities, so their headlines have evolved to be mostly click-bait and hot takes. They are about engagement. Most of them don’t care if you read the whole article anymore, as long as you share it and comment on it. They are in a war for your clicks, if they can get that engagement, they get more ad revenue, pushing them to further these tactics, and the cycle continues.
The other reason the media has stooped to this is that there is an endless supply of content. There is no end to people creating and vying for your attention(hi). Not only are you being hit with all this content, but it is designed with headlines to make you angry or put you in disbelief, something so crazy you have to share it. Then your brain tells you to comment on it, so everyone knows you fall onto (what you believe to be) the right side of the topic, most of the time without actually fully understanding what it is about.
I am here to tell you; it is ok not to have an opinion. This is something I have been working hard on myself. I know it is hard. The fear you may be missing out is real, but I have come to understand I can’t be responsible for all the world’s knowledge. Just because there is a breaking story about a new tech device doesn’t mean I need to know about it. I like being a knowledgeable person, but the well is too deep to know it all. The news moves on so fast that you usually can’t even remember the top headline from a week ago, and most of the time, they never follow up.
People don’t like to look like they don’t know something, especially if the news and media make it seem like a big deal. They will play along as if they know. Jimmy Kimmel has a whole segment based on people not wanting to admit they don’t know, it’s called Lie Witness News, and we all laugh at it. But you don’t have to be the fool. If someone asks you, “did you see the latest about (enter celebrity name here)’s recent marriage issue” or “did you see what crazy politician X said about the president today”? You don’t have to have an answer. You can say, I haven’t seen anything about that or just say no. I promise that people aren’t thinking; “wow, John didn’t reply to that article I shared; he must not have any idea about this very important topic.” They are not going through their follow lists and thinking about who didn’t comment. They are just reengaging with those who commented on it, or more likely, just moving on to share the next thing.
There is so much nuance and history to almost every story or idea or problem that you would have to spend a fair amount of time to have a good understanding of what is going on. By the time you do that, most people will have moved on to the next thing. Unless it is important for you to know personally, you can just let it float on by. Even when it is a topic you actually know about, think about the context of who you are talking to. Do they know enough where it is worth it to share what you know? Or are they just going through the sharing motions too? You can take that time and use it for something more constructive.
As you move through your day, maybe let the feed roll on by, don’t give as much credit to the headlines, and remember, it is ok not to have an opinion about everything.
Thanks for reading,
Mike