Seize the Day
Yesterday, I haggled with a woman in the 16th arrondissement about the acquisition of a jade “gua sha.” Clearly she’s running a racket. Out of the blue, she called me on the phone - she had the voice and the cadence of a woman in the 16th. Her speech was like a flagpole with a tricolore waving in the wind whereas my French with my English accent sounded like a stray kitten circling underneath her. Awkward, fragile, playful, (somewhat) endearing, soft to the touch. This is not, of course, by choice.
The essence of understanding is feeling, not words.
It’s getting hotter and hotter. The past few nights I awoke in the middle of the night because I arrive at the edge of a cliff… Or the feeling is more akin to standing in a burning building where the only option is to jump. Everything I know, these constructs, these paradigms for success are a burning building (ex. what is art?). “Awakening” is the realization that instead of falling, I will float. The word floating implies a kind of lassitude but it’s more like a mindful stillness, trusting that the water will carry me (and everyone).
I’m selling my 2000€ couch for 400€. An adorable young couple came into my apartment this morning to have a look. The young man was carrying a very calm newborn baby. The young woman looked at me in awe and asked, “Are you a dancer?” “Yes, how did you guess?” I lied (that gua sha must really work miracles). “You move like a dancer.” She looked around at my studio of curiosities. “Where are you from?” “Uhhh.”
A long time ago when one of my exes and I lived together in Montreuil, we had this crazy sad woman who lived below us named Laurence. There is a lot to say about Laurence but, in short, she conjured pity.
I’m glad that this morning, unlike Laurence, I sparked reverie and intrigue for this young woman. Something aspirational. Now I hope she buys my goddamn couch.