Dear Reader,
I hope that sharing my personal views on abortion, and how I arrived at them, inspires you to reflect on your own beliefs. Perhaps you'll test them out by sharing them with others and welcoming feedback.
Four beliefs underpin my current views on abortion. These have evolved over time, as I learned more and my thinking has evolved:
1) Bringing a child into this world is a sacred commitment, even if one or both of the two individuals involved in the conception choose/s not be parent that child but to relinquish it for others to do the parenting
2) The welfare of every child and mother – who are one biological system from conception through some months after birth, especially if the mother is breastfeeding – should be the concern of everyone around them. This includes extended family, close friends of the parent/s, the community, and also society. The laws, allocation of funds, and business practices should reflect that
3) It is the fundamental right of every woman to decide whether or not to have a child and, if so, when, where, with whom and how she conceives and births that child
4) Every baby makes a decision to be conceived and born and each one has the ability to choose to end its life while in the womb, during birth, or in the first years afterward
By this I mean a baby has the innate ability to say NO: "Whoops! I made a mistake. This is too hard; I'm not up to it. I'm checking out." or "I am choosing to come in to this body, into this womb, and to this family, but for only a short time" ... perhaps to experience just a little of the experience of being in a body. But that's all. Or perhaps that being’s intention is to be a teacher to its parent/s.
These beliefs may differ greatly from yours. They may sound weird. However, they are in alignment with the beliefs of many ancient and indigenous cultures.
Now, for a few incontrovertible (verifiable) biological facts, some of which have only recently been proven:
Every child needs - and biologically expects - to be wanted, welcomed, well nourished, kept safe and cared for by the person in whom it grows for the first nine months of life: its mother (regardless of that person's gender). That includes breastfeeding, which should be understood as an essential part of birth.
Likewise, every woman-become-mother is undertaking an enormous task, which entails considerable risk: growing another being inside her and (if she chooses to parent that child after birth) to continue to grow that baby's brain and immune system, from the milk of her breasts and the hormones of her body.
Their needs – I call them a mother-baby - can at times be at odds. And one or both of them may be injured or even die (although this should rarely occur) during the time from conception through the first year post-birth
NOTE: Most fetal, infant, and maternal deaths and injuries are preventable...
...if the mother-baby have good nutrition, a physically safe and nurturing environment for the childbearing woman and mother-bay, strong emotional support, plus access to good and affordable – or free – health care (preventive and emergency care).
This primarily means midwifery care, or care done according to the midwifery model.
The "midwifery model of care" is rooted in sound biological principles. With that kind of care, few mothers require either a doctor or a hospital, (though both are essential parts of a good healthcare system).
Throughout history women have sought to end an unwanted pregnancy through various methods of abortion. Making abortion abhorrent - in religious terms - or illegal does not end abortion.
Safe and affordable (sometimes meaning free) abortion, like family planning and contraception is a part of any good health care system. Without that, women die and families suffer, both short-term and long-term.
Regardless of your position on abortion, it is a fact that wherever abortion has been made illegal, it has been driven underground and many women have either died or suffered lifelong health problems as a direct result of not being able to get a safe and affordable abortion.
I don't expect the above information will change your mind, if your are strongly opposed to abortion.
*****
To pull my own covers, let me now state that I am pro-child, pro-woman, pro-family. AND pro-choice regarding abortion. However, I envision a future world where abortion is seldom needed.
I long for a world where everyone – myself included – knows, feels in their body, that they belong and have value simply because they exist, and is respected for being part of the great Web of Life, and connected to its sacred great mystery.
The vision of the world that I am working to create includes:
· Only children who are wanted, honored and can be cared for are brought into the world
· All women are valued and honored for their procreativity, regardless of whether they choose to have a child and/or parent a child
· All life is understood as interdependent and sacred
· Everyone has their basic needs met and is given the protection, opportunity, and support to express their full potential
· No one is marginalized, shamed, abused or neglected
· Poverty and class distinctions don’t exist
· Emotional trauma, especially when it occurs at conception, in the womb, in birth, or the first years afterward, is addressed and healed/integrated
Furthermore:
Children are listened to. All children. They carry inherent wisdom and they grow up participating in their community and naturally wanting to work for the greater social good, as well as expressing their unique fullness.
In this world I struggle to create even within myself, appreciation and cooperation are valued above competition. There is no reward for dominator behavior at the interpersonal or political level. Or within one’s self.
NO, the world I envision and work toward doesn’t yet exist. But it’s the world that I am working to create within my lifetime. Being 79 years old, that means I’m a dreamer. I call myself a “practical visionary.” Might you be one?
In the world I work to create, parents are aware that they/we do not “own” their/our children. They/we are merely guardians, just as we should consider ourselves guardians of Mother Earth.
As for children, not only are they treated with respect, they will be raised with full knowledge of their body as well as the responsibility that comes with sexuality. Moreover, sexuality will be understood to be both sacred and playful. There will be no body shaming. Taking pleasure in our bodies is viewed as natural – following the laws of nature/biology – and healthy, for children as well as adults.
That includes self-pleasuring (masturbation), mutual masturbation and other forms of sex play.
As you might imagine, this means I separate sex from procreation. These children will grow up knowing all possible forms of contraception and be educated in family planning and their own physiology, and also in the development of the human brain, from pre-conception on, so they have deep respect for what it means to bring a child into the world and to parent.
Understanding these things, and having access to affordable (or free) contraception – including abortion – will help create a sense of both personal power AND personal responsibility.
Note: The nation of Sweden seems to have successfully separated sex from conception, and youth there appear to feel free to have sex with each other, but are careful to make sure this does not result in a baby.
Sexual intercourse in mainstream Swedish culture, is viewed as a normal behavior for late adolescents and young adults, regardless of one's gender or sexual orientation. There are structured education programs in schools that encourage vocational training before family planning, a liberal view on adolescent sexuality, early introduction of youth health clinics, easy access to contraception and legislation providing for free legal abortion.
Only 4% of Swedes having a baby before age 20. 75-90% of those result in abortion, a sign of the cultural attitude in Sweden that teenage childbearing, though not stigmatized, is not viewed positively.
Contrast this with the U.S., where the teen pregnancy rate, though dropping, was 13.5 per 1,000 in 2022 – a record low for the U.S. 91% of them are to unmarried girls and the rate of poverty among them is high (more than 60% living in poverty).
Procreation, which is as much an innate drive as sexuality, in the world I long for is undertaken consciously. Boys and girls will have been raised and educated – at home and in schools – to honor the female and the “feminine” and they learn early on to respect the sacredness of the womb as well as the practicalities of how to prevent conception.
Boys and girls will know they have sovereignty over their own body. Everyone, regardless of age or circumstance, will have access to family planning and free, safe forms of contraception, without having to get parental approval. That includes abortion.
The abuse or neglect of any child is unconscionable, treated as sick.
It bears repeating to say that, in this future world everyone understands that the bearing of a child is an honor, a privilege, and a huge responsibility, one that belongs not only to the parents but to the entire community, collectively. And children are raised to think in terms of the “social good”.
It will follow then that anyone who brings a child into the world will want to do so as consciously as possible and be prepared physical, mentally, spiritually, as well as financially.
The bond of the biological mother and baby, which starts at conception, needs to be held as sacred, and their wellbeing as a pair, and protecting and nurturing that developing child’s brain as well as secure attachment will lie at the center of every political and economic decision.
I am for limiting population in keeping with what our Mother Earth can sustain. And our numbers will naturally be dramatically reduced when every child is wanted, since all girls and women will have access to contraception.
It has been proven over and over again that women know deep in their gut and heart how many children they can handle, if they even wish to be a mother. When girls are educated they grow up to be women who choose to limit their family size. Outside “authorities”, like church and state and close relatives are the ones who have pressured women to have more children than they desire and prevented them from getting sex education and information about contraction and family planning. And they are the ones who prevent access to contraception and make abortion dangerous.
Only wanted children will be brought into the world.
OKAY, so I know we aren’t there yet – far from it, because each advancement in consciousness is always followed by strong fear-driven reaction. That’s precisely what the U.S. is in the midst of, since Roe v Wade got rolled back and individual states are now are free to place whatever limits they want on abortion and contraception, just as many states have succeeded in eliminating the teaching of racism or sex in the public schools.
We’re experiencing the damaging fallout everywhere, but most especially in the South, where states like Alabama, Mississippi, and Louisiana have also been refusing federal aid, have higher school dropout rates, lower test scores, and dramatically higher rates of child poverty, teen parenthood, adolescent suicide and more. I consider this to be criminal.
Change is uncomfortable. It brings up fear. Yet it’s inevitable.
Despite evidence to the contrary, that is strong evidence that “consciousness” on this planet is rising. And that gives me hope.
I believe it’s up to each of us to create and cherish an ideal vision of our future as a species, if we ever hope to achieve a better world for children, all creatures and Mother Nature. And our vision needs to be well thought out and take into account the long-term as well as short-term potential impacts of what we want to have happen.
In my next part I will examine the reality of abortion today, such as who is having them and why. But I’ll end with this proven FACT:
Scientific evidence doesn’t change strongly held beliefs. I wish it did. Most of us hold tightly to our beliefs, and resent and defend against anything or anyone that challenges them.
Since all of our personal beliefs have been influenced by the environment in which we grew up and our experiences, it’s often hard to separate out what is ours from what is not. We also have intuition and “gut feelings”, both of which have validity and which may run counter to our beliefs.
And then there is science – the methodical approach to questioning and researching to find answers. There is what’s called “evidence-based” facts, which can and do change as we discover more or better evidence. That doesn’t invalidate scientific inquiry and research or what we thought we knew.
We all want to know what is true. The question then is, do we have the courage to examine information that runs counter to our deeply held beliefs, which are based on a set of assumptions we seldom question.
Yes, we have a right to hold our beliefs, even when they’re influenced by our ignorance and/or fear. But do we have the right to dictate to, or condemn, others for their beliefs, if they are not directly harming us? Even what constitutes harm is a complex question.
Statistics are cold when compared to the stories of real human beings – our own stories and the stories told to us by those we love or respect. Yet statistics can help us connect the dots between separate pieces of the puzzle and help reveal the full picture.
In knowing the fullest possible picture, we are better able to think more deeply and make more thoughtful decisions.
That’s what my purpose is in writing this piece on the thorny issue of abortion: having readers think more deeply and soulfully.
Now let’s look at some of the revealing statistics.