I am mad.
I spent yesterday watching the horrifying events, and today trying to collect my thoughts. And the words that kept coming to me were that I am mad.
I am mad at the lack of urgency. How is it possible that Congressmembers could’ve died yesterday and people are STILL not doing anything?
I am mad knowing that this was years in the making and no one did anything. That people resigned days away from January 6th knowing this was coming, so they wouldn’t be associated with it instead of doing what was right and stopping it. And they’re continuing to resign in cowardice like the cabinet members so they don’t have to face Trump and his army’s hitlist by invoking the 25th amendment, and will be rewarded with other jobs in future administrations, jobs in consulting, TV network gigs like Sean Spicer on Dancing With The Stars, and book deals like John Bolton.
I am mad that people like Ted Cruz and Josh Hawley continued to be opportunists, raising money while the Capitol was still on lockdown saying they were leading the fight to object the electors, and that the Seditious Six of the Senate continued objecting even after the events of the day. That over a hundred people in the House objected to the Arizona results. That people like Mike Pence, Lindsey Graham, and Kelly Loeffler think they can do and say everything they have, then try to act like nothing really ever happened and still not stand up for what’s right. That they will all face no consequences and get to keep their jobs spouting nonsense and conveying conspiracy theories. They should be shamed for life. They shouldn’t be accepted or reasoned with. I don’t care if people at the White House are depressed that they might not be able to get a job after this. They shouldn’t ever be in a decent, sane, normal society ever again. And they certainly should not be rewarded for it.
I am mad that this rhetoric was allowed to happen for so long with no pushback. That the belief was we’ll wait until the 2020 election to vote him out. That decorum was more important than having courage to stand up and say this is wrong, this is fascism, I don’t accept it, and there will be consequences for it. That instead of punching a bully in the face, we thought they needed to be heard out.
I am mad watching a different level of policing and justice for white supremacists and fascists who are directed by Capitol Police to Congressmembers’ offices in the middle of a coup attempt while those same Congressmembers are quivering in fear, protected only by a wooden cabinet and a locked door. With the coup members being able to walk away and only caught after videos and pictures were taken of them and submitted to legal authorities, where there are still issues of white supremacy in the latter and the former will probably be given light punishments.
I am mad at how compromised our society has become. From no one really knowing who in the chain of command denied the request for the National Guard in the midst of a coup to how the Overton window of our society has shifted so far to the extreme that our new normal is a plague state filled with extremism and over 30% of people believing in lunacy with members of that group being elected to positions in the government.
I am mad at how much white people can get away with, and the implicit racial bias is showing whether they realize it or not. Things like, “Oh he’s not that bad”, or “He’s not that dangerous”, or “The legal system will take care of that”, or “If he does it again, then we’ll do something about it.” The luxury of getting multiple chances is absurd. What does it take to have fair and equal treatment?
I am mad at every leader in organizations across the country who didn’t take a moment to say something to their staff about how wrong these events were. The leaders who chose not to discuss politics or offend anyone, maybe due to formulating a cohesive PR statement, instead of providing any sort of acknowledgement or comfort in one of if not the worst days in American history, where over 4000 people died of COVID on top of a coup happening at the Capitol. You are complicit in your silence, and you are showing your cowardice. You are one of the reasons we are where we are today. And you should feel your shame.
I am mad at the same people above and others who downplayed the seriousness of this danger, especially from those minorities who warned you for so long. Such as us saying rhetoric like calling Mexicans or gang members animals is an immediate threat on humanity, that fascists like Milo Yiannopoulos shouldn’t be allowed to speak on college campuses, that concentration camps are crimes against humanity and people who built and filled them should be tried (that genital mutilation wasn’t enough???), that Trump should be impeached (and even when he was, not just impeached for bribery, but for all his treasonous acts and crimes against humanity), etc. etc. Because you thought this couldn’t happen here, and you thought those of us who warned you of the dangers of fascism were crazy or insane, you now leave us minorities in an even more dangerous position where between now and when the next coup attempt is successful, we will genuinely live in fear for our lives. That white supremacists can barge into our homes with no remorse and kill us with no guilt or consequences. And we just have to do our best to keep a straight, happy face with polite demeanor on as possible so we’re in their good graces for the hopes they don’t come after us.
I am mad for many more reasons, and I am exhausted. I will end by saying that if you are in a position to do something about this, DO SOMETHING. If you are not, stand up for what’s right and have difficult conversations even when it’s uncomfortable. Your conversational discomfort results in me not being in a concentration camp or ending up dead simply for being who I am or speaking how I feel. Because lord knows I have had those conversations, and I can sleep well at night knowing I have done my best to work and inform those around me of how dangerous this all is at the expense of my own energy, sanity, and image (though I still sleep thinking every day I didn’t do enough and can still do more). Because I understand the stakes. And it is about time that you do too. Because you do NOT want to live like this. If you opt to do nothing, this will only get worse. And if you don’t believe me, did you really think January 6th would happen 5 years ago, or even a month or two ago, or on January 5th?