A Hypothetical Dynasty
It was reported on September 12th by Alex Raskin of the Daily Mail that former NFL.com columnist Jim Trotter filed an “anticipated discrimination lawsuit against the league.” Quotes from Cowboys Owner Jerry Jones (“If Blacks feel some kind of way, they should buy their own team and hire who they want to hire”) and Buffalo Bills’ Owner Terry Pegula ([African American players should] “go back to Africa and see how bad it is” [if they’re unhappy with their treatment in the United States]) are laid out in the article.
Let’s kill this negativity with some positivity, shall we? We shall? Ok let’s do this! I’m entitling this exercise, “Giving the owners what they want by holding a mirror to their face and making them realize that their entire names, tax breaks, and publicly funded world-class stadiums that should be paid by them because they’re billionaires with more wealth than you and I could ever dream of are built on the backs of the very people they hate.” In this exercise, we will create the exact franchise that Jerry Jones so desires where all the black people of the NFL create one team and go up against 31 teams of solely white organizations.
[Note: I did not have time to create a list of 31 white franchises because it would involve pulling players from colleges and potentially high schools. It may skew the methodology for how I get to proving that this all-black team reaches a 20-0 season, but I’m willing to overlook this.]
I don’t know the inner workings of an NFL team’s staff to make a list of those people. We know stuff like Magic Johnson would be the likely owner, Mike Tomlin would be the head coach (to manage all of the talent/egos), Eric Bieniemy would be the offensive coordinator, DeMeco Ryans would probably be defensive coordinator, etc. I will admit to my lack of knowledge on that overall front and move on to the more fun part.
Here’s the team that would be on the field.
Addendum:
Today I learned that there have only ever been 5 black placekickers in NFL history.
Who needs a kicker when you’re never going to kick field goals or extra points? Marquette can do kickoffs. Someone hire the man.
And that, my friends, is how we get the 1972 Miami Dolphins to stop popping bottles of champagne. Shoutout to Jerry Jones. I so dearly hope your dreams come true. I would watch this dynasty blowout one of the other 31 teams every week.