This Week in Coffee; Wednesday 26th of July '23
How Universal Studios missed a Nestle sponsorship for Coffenhiemer is, truly, beyond my comprehension. All the ingredients are there. 1950s America was perfectly addicted to coffee and Cillian Murphey honestly looks pretty knackered in almost every scene.
Without a doubt, some bright marketing spark could picture Murphey brewing a "delicious" Nespresso Virtuo pod sent from the future using an early cyclotron. Two tortured azure eyes are hidden behind a coffee cup as Matt Damon plays Jason Borne trying to build the A-bomb.
Roasted coffee beans are the perfect collaboration product as many celebrities have recently discovered (see final item in this newsletter). The theme of elite drop-shipping where the harrastocrats in Hollywood slap their name on some mediocre beans is large because a. roasted coffee has big margins and b. the addicted but unfaithful consumers of coffee are willing to sample anything they hear about.
There will be those people who think it's tasteless to allow a coffee company to do product placement in a film about the slaughter of thousands of people and the most dangerous invention known to man. I can only assume that those people also think it's "bang out of order" for a ravenous anaconda to drown a fawn and then suck out its eyeballs. The anaconda can't bloody well help it.
If I were you, I wouldn't waste your synapses disapproving of corporate avarice and sponsorship. The only thing stopping Coca Cola going back in time and trying to give Ghengis Khan an apparel deal is that it's, currently, technically infeasible. If not, we would have tapestries of Mongolian horse archers holding hands and sipping from a glass bottle beside the burning ruins of Baghdad.
Remember kids - corporations are not your friend.
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