I work, occasionally, as a photographer for a nightlife event group in Houston. I'm given a few fundamental instructions at the start of the night, then let loose to photograph at will. The instructions are these:
Only take pictures of girls.
Get pictures of people with their hands "up."
Take as many pictures as possible.
You can maybe already see how this is a tricky feat, at times. For one, I'm a girl photographer, so men at the events think they can talk to me, touch my shoulder, ask what my exposure is set to ("Oh, ISO 100, yeah, that's good!" I was told most recently, as if I didn't know my own manually-applied settings).
Most commonly, though, are random men I've never spoken to asking me to take their picture. I tell them, "That's not my job; there's no way for me to guarantee you'll get the picture back; I'm not in charge of sending them out; etc." The most common response to this? "That's fine, take it anyways!" If you ask for a photograph but will never see it again, was it ever really taken? Curious, curious. But they don't care -- they just want a camera pointed their way. Why?
Something about a cramped nightclub makes some of the men in attendance act like feral mannerless creatures. Ogling women dancing, entirely unsubtle; shaking foamed-up champagne all over the dancing crowd (what a waste of a decent, if overpriced, bottle). Grabbing asses, grabbing their own dicks. It's just a bit heinous. But it's set up for that -- clubs, bars (with bottle service, at least), events all make it an ego game. Spend your money and YOU can be the biggest, flashiest asshole in the room! Congratulations, you made it! Adding a camera is just a very narrow vessel to continue the ego-stroking. You look great, want a picture?! The problem is, that's not actually what I'm there for -- and I behave in juxtaposition with that shitty nightlife behavior, as such. I'm not there to make you look good, I'm there to make the group look good; curate a visual vibe according to the actual event. More on this later, though.
Women are different about this kind of thing. For the most part, if they see I'm taking a picture of them, they'll pose or smile or dance with a good amount more energy. There's not a disdain for being photographed, at least for the majority of them. A few women, of course, when I ask if they want a picture taken, will sneer and say, "Um, no thanks." Fair enough, if a bit unnecessarily bitter. But most of them are happy to have their photo taken. Never, though, have a group of girls stopped me walking (sweating, focused, probably with my eyebrows furrowed) across the room and asked for a picture they won't get back.
This could be because people are maybe more observant of photographers at work than I'd like them to be. Maybe the crowd at these events watches me working, sees I'm not taking pictures of any men. So, maybe (maybe) men see this and figure their best bet is just asking me for a photo. As much as I'd like to be unbothered by these probably-harmless asks, something about it still doesn't sit right with me. Like, I'm not being paid to take portraits -- there's no event group Patreon-or-whatever that you can pay $1/month to get your Instagram material from. I am solely being paid to make marketing material for the event group. Of course, nobody is thinking (for the most part) hard enough about the marketing and social media presence of these nightlife groups to notice this, exactly. Unless, of course, they work in nightlife, too. So I guess it's not entirely a man's fault if he thinks I'm there to take portraits and make him look badass. But still -- there's the question of basic human decency.
By that I mean essentially this: if I don't even know you, what makes you feel like it's okay to tap my shoulder, or yell in my ear, or wave in front of my camera while I'm actively taking another picture? Just to stroke your own ego for a second, have an omniscient camera pointed at you? What's the goal? Is it because I'm a girl? Likely, I fear, the answer is yes. Somehow I can't recall seeing male photographers being perpetually bombarded for pictures by random men posing with their vodka cran, shiny gold condom (this really happened, yes), or fake-silver chain bracelet. Maybe I'm just being too cynical, though -- who knows?
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I realize this cynicism doesn't entirely line up with my own willingness to work in this environment. It isn't all bad, is the problem, and the fun parts are really fun! Well, sort of. When you're working and sober, it's definitely not ideal; but if you're a little buzzed, a couple notable assholes don't take away from the crowd comprised of mostly-good energies. Dancing and singing loud to early-2000's hits, dressing up, meeting random girls to befriend in the bathroom -- it's mostly a good time, honestly.
I've met a couple people who work with the current group I photograph for, too, who are really nice. I get paid on time, and fairly generously for the hours I work, and get free waters and stuff. It's a decent gig in addition to the nannying I do. Last event I worked the event group owner gave me a $20 raise (woo!), and his girlfriend gave me a genuine smile and little hug before Kyle picked me up. It was so sweet. That crowd is definitely good people. Still, the random dudebros can cramp the vibe.
The good thing about being the photographer, though: nobody in the crowd knows me! I am totally anonymous; no one knows where I came from or where I'm going that night, nobody knows my name. If some dickhead asks, it's too loud (and they'll be too drunk) anyways for them to even hear and process it. That makes the obnoxious behavior a lot more tolerable; just wave your hand at them (i.e. "Yeah, whatever!" by body language) and walk away. Disappear into the crowd, be forgotten. A gift of sorts.
Anyways, tonight I'm going to take pictures again. Send prayers that nobody annoys me by asking about my camera settings or poses with their middle fingers up ("I'm so cool, I'm so cool") after asking for a group pic. Ta ta.