The Gammons are Revolting / Terminal Boredom
The Gammons are Revolting
A spectre is haunting London: the spectre of low traffic networks.
All the powers of old London[1] have entered into an unholy alliance to exorcise this spectre.
So begins the Communist Manifesto, Karl Marx’s treatise on destroying capitalism by making it slightly trickier to drive to the shops.
There has been a lot written about LTNs, much of it very stupid. Not only your common or garden ignorance - though there has been plenty of that - but also pretending-not-to-understand reporting and politicking designed to make already furious people even angrier.
It’s been like fortnightly bin collections on crack, and were I not intensely invested in wanting safer and healthier cities, I would find the whole farrago extremely amusing.
The myths and lies have been spouted by people who really ought to know better, like BBC video reporters and otherwise perfectly adequate Labour MPs - particularly as the fight to stop people rat running on residential streets is nothing new.
Rupa Huq coming out as LTN sceptic puts her in the company of such luminaries as Shaun Bailey, Nigel Farage and the incredibly named UKIP candidate Peter Gammons, as her own local Ealing council push through with measures despite the panic and relentless misinformation.
Obvious falsehoods over ambulances and the suggestion curtailing rat runs favours posh people - sirs, most poor people cannot afford a car, - are repeated ad infinitum in boomer Facebook groups peopled by hobbyhorsists and cranks who have no alternative solution to our traffic crisis other than “keep things as they are”.
These people are not representative - LTNs are popular and successful - but they are noisy. Local councillors and other elected representatives get very nervous about noisy and seemingly well funded pressure groups.
It’s been a long old slog for the not-wanting-pedestrians-and-cyclists-to-be-killed-by-cars community, but progress has been made. With hindsight, the protests over Blackfriars Bridge was a crucial moment.
Ten years on, we have a segregated cycle route over it and up towards King’s Cross, but the “towards” here is the operative word. Despite a much safer middle section, my old commute to the Guardian from Streatham is still a hairy ride, to be attempted only by those who “keep their wits about them”, in the much-mocked words of Boris Johnson.
The irony here is Johnson was, ultimately, a much better mayor for walkers and cyclists than Khan has been. The LTNs have been funded by central government and implemented by local authorities.
Progress on the roads TfL control - main, arterial routes - has been glacially slow. Khan will be re-elected next month, but while projects like the new urban motorway-style Kew bridge go ahead, and the Silvertown Tunnel remains un-cancelled, it’s clear that Khan still has a lot of work to do in one of the few policy areas in which he has the power to make a difference.
One of the profound misunderstandings - deliberate or otherwise - about LTNs in particular is that they’re for the cyclists”. In one sense, yes: I don’t want to die thanks. But in the words of another outgroup figure - Sith Lord Darth Vader - it’s too late for me. I’m going to cycle regardless.
But wouldn’t it be nice is my suburban friend felt he could ride or scoot his daughter to school, rather than drive. Or that my mum could have the confidence to get the bike out of the shed and cycle a safe and direct route up to Kingston when she feels like it.
With 35% of car journeys in London being 2km or less, these are the changes that will make the city a better, happier place for everyone.
I spent much of last year living in Walthamstow, which had already implemented LTNs. Watching kids playing cricket in the streets, like I was able to 35 years ago before traffic on residential roads increased exponentially, made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. I would love kids across London to be safe enough to have the same opportunity, and am faintly bemused by those fighting to keep them unhealthy and unsafe.
[1] Cabbies and bankers, mainly.
Terminal Boredom
I’m helping a friend edit his debut novel; to get in the right mindset, I’m trying to read more fiction again.
My current read and frenzied recommendation is Terminal Boredom by Izumi Suzuki, a collection of taut, beautifully written short stories of a dystopian bent. Not a single word is wasted, and she deals with themes that will be familiar to readers of Atwood and Le Guin, but with a style and a focus all of her own.
Links and plugs
Please listen to my debut album and buy it if you like it. It’s only a fiver. All proceeds go towards paying off my credit card.
The latest episode of my sketch comedy collective’s podcast is set in a delightfully odd pub called the Dog & Owner, just in time for the joy of actually being able to go to pubs again.
Have a listen? We’ll be back live on stage at The Miller in London Bridge on 25th May - tickets will be available from Monday.