sept 5 2019 - uneven cycles
hi, um,
today, the moon is in a first quarter and transitions from scorpio to sagittarius tho it feels like the new moon in virgo was like yesterday. normally it feels like there’s more time between these quarter moons but we know cycles are uneven and that’s nice to think about for me
today also snuck up on me because there was a long period where I had reminders scheduled for myself on that horrific app that is no longer a functioning system for me* (lol New Years embarrassments, how relatable I am!) and yes, i’m still feeling something that people call burnout and i’m still working through it and we know cycles are uneven
cycles of feeling, of the body, of pesky work, and this never-ending grantszn
and sometimes when the unevenness of different cycles are out of sync, you still have to show up to work and bless for the spoons that help me show up for other people and yes, i’m also showing up for myself by naming what I need and trying to make it happen
once cycle that's been entertaining is the particular absurdity of twitter news / celeb goss this wk ; David Karpf, the irony/hypocrisy of Ariana G, the sheer willful ignorance of Scarlett J, that Crazy Rich Asians writer Adele Lim, and oh so many people (apparently unknowingly) being embarrassing in the permanent, fleeting archive of the internet. I think in some time, I might believe I was one of these people but maybe I already know/knew
it’s a distracting cycle to pedal through. it slows me down and there is much work to do and there will be always be much work to do (thx, u guessed it, capitalism! lol) and if I type lol at the end of every tweet/text to indicate unwelcome humorous irony, then is scrolling thru hot takes on horrifying jabs of words and $flows on my twitter feed a manifestation of me actually slowing down and resisting endless laboring in favor of a respite, a moment’s laughter at how ridiculous everyone is and how I can only laugh from afar at another’s ridiculousness but feel unable to address my own?
some call it procrastination but I…
isn’t it magical how you can’t know whether I actually sent this message at this time or scheduled it for some ‘optimum timing’? lol
to willful procrasti-scrolling,
yes i’m usually a bad influence,
bn
*the frequency with which I reference that post/time is a pretty good summary of this slushie as a project