june 7 2022 - effortless exertion
this is ur 2nd slushee of this 2022 gemini szn—what pleasure! lol
as i wrote that last 3rd quarter moon, I've been thinking about
effortless exertion
effortful emptiness
it's gemini szn so that's not a binary, but a ~duality~
last wk, i was
co-producing a show,
rehearsing/performing in another show, and
rehearsing for another TBA project ;)
v a lot, lots of moving parts, won't even mention the daytime mtgs and work i had for [redacted NDA oops] gigs and etc.
a usual freelance flailing week, a kind that I've written about before and yes, I'm still aghast
v odd that my girlboss era is taking shape this way but I've been noting and guiding my bod thru it the wisdom that I've gained over the years.
the inflation, i can't!
I've been thinking about more dualities
adrenaline and exhaustion
FOH and BOH
talent and crew
to ur great surprise, I'm sure, it was my little body that was a vessel for these dualities and their gradations (gender and sexuality are ____, happy pride month lol) abruptly switching between them in such short time periods and/or holding them at the same time. gay.
for this first quarter moon in virgo, thinking about the systems of regulating these shifts, the hyperactivity that my bod has to digest in hypercapitalist rhythms
i knew that i'd be appearing to do the most last week (visible exertion), which meant my challenge for myself was to move towards effortlessness? right??
some examples, to justify my neat little narrative
i put on my face and costume then took a micronap in the car en route to the performance oops,
i pranced around a nearly empty schoolyard moving little objects around,
i stood still* while people considered how i looked in some outfit
(*bod still, face alive, eye winking, u kno?)
being effortful, gripping muscles, and crunching against the flow would only result in emptiness inside and outside
not just lack of fulfillment but like, ineffective at my Jobs.
mindfulness is really cool, you know, embodied lol
head empty! bod full!
all that's to say, I'm performing again this wknd!!!
can only post about it on my IG stories sry iykyk or dm me or whatev
sub crit
listened to this pretty bad audiobook, just to see if it would redeem itself as it went on.
reader, it did not. from bad writing to simplistic politics, this recent bestselling adult novel cost more to make than this slushee but somehow got less editing,no i have not yet seen that movie that prompted the re-surfacing of the bechdel test in the tw*tter
what have trusted confidants told me so far tho?? hmm.... more soon— add ur thoughts etc. xoi received the funniest guesses to that television show i mentioned in my last
i replied to the one reader who guessed it right and she included my additional commentary as a quote in her newsletter, which i have quoted in a previous slushee once upon a time [insert spiderman meme]
xoxo ur fave #freelance bimbo girlboss
see you on the dancefloor ;)
benedict
[photo ID: a sunset pink cloudy sky atop a brick building, fence on the right, basketball nets on the left, and the tops of people's heads on the bottom]