Fall has Fell
Spring has sprung,
Fall has fell.
Summer's here and it's hotter than...
Whaddya want, prose or poetry?
That's the punchline from one of my favorite jokes. And since it's well and truly fall around here, I figured I'd open with it. After all, who doesn't like half a joke in their inboxes on a Tuesday morning?
Marking Time the Fun Way
Yesterday was my birthday, turned 41. It's not momentous or anything but I did have a really good day. My partner hid presents all around the house (and I do mean hid). I had to ask for hints to find the last three. I then spent the day hanging out with/taking care of my kid, eating dumplings for lunch, opening Magic card booster packs, and playing video games. I usually take Mondays and do some light work and organize my week. Not yesterday! I capped it off by going to see Eternals in a late showing.
It was a lot of fun to sit and open cards and imagine the decks I want to make.
All in all, it's one of the best birthdays I've had in recent memory. Last year's was remarkable but that's because I made it an event by trying to cycle across all of Ohio. Hard to compare to that, honestly.
I may have said here before, but I don't fear getting older. I'm also a lot less afraid of dying than I used to be. Something about the arrival of our baby, the immediacy of taking care of her needs, being in the moment with her... it's all just faded away. I, like anyone, have no idea what waits for us on the other side of that great barrier, but I'm getting more and more comfortable with it inevitability.
The Valley Between
Not sure if I've outlined things here about how I'm doing business now, but it involves doing a zine-based Kickstarter about once a quarter. That leads to a really weird feeling when I'm not running one. Thought the KS for Iron Edda Reforged was slower moving than I wanted it to be, I still enjoyed it. I'm wired for that kind of attention. I get to crow about the cool thing I'm making, find different angles of it to talk about, and people support its creation with money. It's a capitalist skillset, to be sure, but until that system is dismantled, it's an important skillset for me to have.
Outside of the funding windows, it's different. My desire to talk about things is a little less. The notice I get for things I do say is less (or perceived to be less because there's not the dopamine hit of seeing numbers go up). It's interesting and it's something that I need to stay aware of. Y'see, we're operating in an attention economy now. Keeping a steady pressure by letting people know about what you've got going is important. It's not that people forget about you. It's that the algorithms behind the systems we use deprioritize you.
That's a sad, sad reality, I know. The idea that if you're not speaking in ways that are correctly formatted and continually present, the system kind of just makes you disappear... that's hard. Disheartening. I think that's why I like talking about it outside of those platforms. It helps to remind me that the ways we interact online aren't the only things that matter. That there's a valid self that's present and worth more than any algorithm say's it's worth. That's true for me and for every other person online. It's a good thing to remember.
Marinating and Stewing
I think I said last month that my next small game is going to be Hyperspan 2077, a Cannonball Run-esque cyberpunk sort of thing. I think I'm finally ready to sit down and work on it this week.
It can feel strange to me, the gap between idea of the will to work on it. Given that I wrapped a Kickstarter a month ago, it's not really shocking that I haven't had the motivation to work beyond the stuff I need to do. Still, there are times when a game just zaps straight out of my brain and onto the page. This isn't one of those times but it's also not a time when I know things need to marinate for a long time (like with Iron Edda Reforged). This is a medium pace kind of writing experience. One that I can get done relatively quickly when I sit to work on it. But it needs time to stew, to get the ingredients right, to develop the right kind of flavor.
I've been watching a lot of Chopped recently, can you tell?
The cooking metaphor is an apt one, though. My small games are like fried food. You prep, you heat the oil, you batter or coat, you drop it, let it go for a short time, and you've got something tasty. My big games are like full meals. Lots of components, lots of planning, many things that need to get done before everything is ready.
Hyperspan is a weeknight dinner. Plan it out, get the flavors right, take not a lot of time to cook it (because when you've prepped right, it might not take long), and serve when ready.
Damn. I like that metaphor.
The Close-Out
As always, I really appreciate that you're subscribed to this newsletter. It's a lovely thing to take time once a month (or so) and get some thoughts out for 'yall. In addition, if you want games like Hyperspan 2077 as soon as they're released, you can become a patron.
Any amount a month gets you everything I make. It's a pretty great deal. Also, we're about seven or eight patrons away from me revising War of Metal and Bone and making it pay-what-you-can! That's super exciting for me. I really want to hit that milestone.
So, that's it for November! Enjoy the upcoming holidays if that's your thing. I'll see you next month.
-Tracy