The Malaysia Trip: Part 2
Whew! What a trip. We are back home, still figuring out how to live our daily routine again after a fun, busy, family adventure.
I had hoped to send this sooner, but I wanted to be able to talk about how we overcame Toby's jet lag, and it took a long time for that to happen.
Picking up from where we left off in Part 1, we had some big family gatherings in KL, then jetted down to Singapore for a week, then returned for one last day in KL before our long journey home.
Family Gatherings
This whole trip was anchored by two celebrations, where Toby was able to meet her extended family on both her grandma and grandpa's sides. Toby was a pleasant guest at both events. She was happy to see new people, she let us know when she needed some more space to run, and she kept her energy and smiles up until the end. She loved having cousins (and new toys) to play with, and her aunties and uncles loved holding her and chasing her around.
Toby's great-grandmother even declared that she is a good eater. We're very proud of that.
Aside from meeting and eating, her favorite part of these visits was climbing the stairs. As previously noted, we don't have a staircase in our house, and she just gets so excited when she has access to a good set of steps.
This was also my first time meeting most of these family members in person. I had been a little anxious about it, but I mostly stuck close to Toby and basked in everybody's playful side. Even the most stoic uncles had some big smiles and baby-talk for her :)
Airbnb on Jalan Tun Razak
For this second chunk of time in Kuala Lumpur, we stayed at the Orion Condominiums, in a different part of town, which had space for more family to stay with us. (We also had a nice little nook in our bedroom, just the right size for the pack-and-play, so Toby couldn't immediately see her parents every time she woke in the night. That helped a lot.)
Some highlights here:
We found a good restaurant for breakfast nearby, and on the second day our very friendly server called out to Toby by name! She was an instant celebrity.
One evening, we got in a classic Toby & Dad stroller nap. She and I hadn't gone on a destination-less walk together the whole trip until then, and I think it calmed us both down to have that bit of our routine back.
I don't think I mentioned the KLCC Park playground before, but we made a return trip during this week. It's like they sent out an open call to anybody who wanted to build a playground, and 20 crews showed up and loosely stitched them all together - just a huge area of equipment, very fun for Toby to explore.
Singapore
Our week in Singapore kicked off with a train ride to the airport, which set the tone for all of Toby's upcoming time on public transportation. We all had a great time in the city, but I don't have a lot of big Toby updates. While we explored, via train and bus and foot, we noticed Toby getting more clingy. She started hugging our legs, nuzzling into her mom's face, and gave me some good shoulder snugs.
We found lots of kiddo activities for the week. Notably, the National Gallery had a Children's Bienalle event going on, which was a definite highlight and also kept us out of the rain for an afternoon. It was also an easy walk from our lodging to Fort Canning and the Jubilee Park Playground, so we made multiple stops there.
While visiting these family-friendly attractions, we were among many Singaporean families that felt very similar to ours. Szuyin and I had to take a sec to reflect on how different our life would be if she had been granted that secondment in Singapore when she was working for PwC. It does feel like we could've enjoyed living there, but of course then we wouldn't have met Chapati back in Chicago. And there's only one combination of genes that would've given us Toby.
Our Return Journey
Szuyin and I are both pretty experienced travelers, and we have a similar tolerance for long flights, or long days of multiple flights. We can deal with being a bit less comfortable for a day, on our way somewhere cool.
Traveling with a baby, though, the travel time isn't just a transition period. We have to find ways to make our eight or nine hour flights, layovers, and trips through customs into engaging experiences, or we just have a loud, unhappy, unruly person in our care.
I think we did pretty well on that front for the return trip. We made some changes to our approach, and I think all three of us were able to enjoy the time a lot more.
We checked the car seat instead of bringing it onto the plane. (Apparently not every airline will let you buy a ticket for a baby and then hold them in your lap for takeoff/landing, but it was fine this time.)
We requested (and received) a row of the couch seats on our flight from Narita to Honolulu.
We gave up on encouraging Toby to nap based on the clock. We kept her occupied and entertained until the cabin lights went down, then we let her choose to sleep on her own.
Now, none of us were anywhere near well-rested when we got home, but I'd say the whole thing was less stressful. I even got to watch a couple movies!
The Recovery
We landed in Honolulu at 8:00am Friday. We had departed Kuala Lumpur at 8:00am that same Friday. It would be cool if we had teleported, but it was in fact awful.
For jet lag, they say to expect one day of disruption for every hour of time change that you need to overcome. Usually, I don't put much stock into rules of thumb like this, but it did take about a week before Toby had a normal night of sleep. And during the days, she wasn't taking naps like usual. She was either passing out in the car or on the couch, never in the crib. The sleep debt was building - for all of us.
After many, many hours of Toby standing in her crib and yelling, we decided to rearrange her room so she could just have a mattress on the floor. We saw an immediate change! The very first night, we completely swapped crib-yelling for bedroom-door-yelling! But, she did eventually find her way to bed for some sleep. And things have improved each night since.
It has taken a few days to see her agree to a nap in the bed, but we accomplished that today. At bedtime tonight, she grabbed her favorite stuffed cat Lolo and curled up in bed before we had even finished her lullaby. Tomorrow, I'm optimistic that we'll have a single, strong nap. 🤞