Month 20: Hello everybody, so glad to see you
Well, we're all another month older, and that's fun if you still measure your age in months. Let's see what's new around here since last time.
Toby has started to sing and dance along with her favorite songs. She especially likes the ones we learned at music class, and she requests that playlist very often. She really loves making music. When the Hello Song1 gets rolling, she could spend all day just telling us new2 things to greet.
We are beginning to graduate to real books with real pages. She still likes the baby- and toddler-friendly board books because she can turns the pages easily, but she will now sit and pay attention to a whole storybook. We've also had good times finding fun things3 in I Spy books from the library!
During our Chinese New Year activities, we confirmed that she's still not into it when people dress up in full-body animal costumes. Librarian Dawn dressed as a dragon during story time? AbsoLUTELY not. Lion Dance at the children's discovery center? Nope. Nope. Maybe? Nope. But, after a few interactions with the playful uncles inside, she was ready to hand-deliver her dollar bill for good fortune. So that's progress!
Magna-Tiles have taken the top spot in Toby's toy rotation this month. She can take them apart and stack them back up by herself for like half an hour straight. I love it.
She's still a good sleeper, but now she'll sometimes spend 20 or 30 minutes just chatting, singing, or fake sneezing to herself in her bed before she falls asleep. She also likes to lie on her back and kick the wall. It's a good thing we still have the monitor to know what's causing such a ruckus.
This month also marks one full year since I left work to take care of Toby! I spend most of these newsletters talking about how she is growing up, but I've noticed changes in myself, too. I've written before about how my perspective on certain activities has changed. I think there's more going on than just that, though.
When I left my job, my responsibilities at work were long term things. My days were pretty predictable - I didn't have to react to a lot of surprises. We expected my projects to last months and pay off over years. I was pretty comfortable with that setup. But I believe that using my brain in that long-term mode so much spilled over into how I thought and responded to things at home. I was not quick to make "big" decisions, I gave myself lots of time to take on any unfamiliar tasks, and it was not always easy to get me excited for new experiences.
Gradually over the last year, I think those mindsets and reactions have been changing. In the early months of Toby's life, I didn't feel comfortable with trying out many new things with Toby. And I definitely felt stressed when our plans were unclear or upset. Now, after a year of following Toby's lead through every day, I am a lot4 calmer in the face of uncertainty. Toby and I (and Mommy) can set off in the morning with a diaper bag, some snacks, and a water bottle, and I barely sweat when our first planned activity is cancelled, or our second one keeps us out way past T's normal nap time.
Some of that stress relief comes, I'm sure, from Toby becoming a toddler - she's just another person now, instead of a fragile little infant. But I think there's something going on with how my work as a caregiver is all short term, with obvious immediate effects, and something new every day. My brain needed to become more flexible to keep up with the new set of tasks.
(I might not be as good at strategic thinking anymore, though. It seems like my mind can only operate one way at a time, but it is able to switch modes over time. Is that a thing? I don't know.)
Thanks for reading, especially if you stuck with me through this longer one, with more about me and less about Toby. See you again for Month 21, if not sooner!