So the last couple months have been interesting—interesting enough that I think I might have to scale back and do this newsletter on a when-I-can basis, instead of a strict monthly basis. As usual, I bit off more than I could chew. But that’s not bad, I don’t think—I’m just learning where my limits are and what to do with them, haha. Though hopefully the next few months won’t be quite as rocky as the last two have been.
Anyhow, on to the art!
Forest Heat did so well—and was so good for me, emotionally—that I did it again. This illustration is… basically kinda-sorta the through-line of Her Fire as a concept? Death and decay are life and rebirth; funerals are weddings; a grave is a fine wedding-night bed. I really like death as a motif—way more than I ever thought I would—so might as well have fun with it.
I have another idea involving a very dead-looking—like, actively dead, face nearly a skull sort of aesthetic—corpse!beast Idris fucking a very feverish-looking Ila in some kind of overgrown crypt or church… And that idea has also wormed its way into my latest god-not-another-rewrite of Her Fire.
I’ve wanted to get into the habit of doing “sketches” for years. I never really liked my sketches, though—but I think I had the impression that sketches as themselves had to be like, things that were adjacent to fully-finished illustrations? I don’t really know what my thought process was there. I just know that I didn’t really like my sketches until I finally threw up my hands and said “fuck it” to my weird expectations of what sketches were supposed to be. So I guess these are technically a pair of sketches—one that is, once again, something from Her Fire:
“There is no going back.” His teeth remained motionless, in spite of his words ringing perfectly in the frigid air. Rumbling in her bones. “You will stay with me—until all light fades. Until all things end.”
I just hope that this quote doesn’t get cut because I like it a lot… I’ll probably tuck it away in a “safe” document while I mow down the rest of the rewrite.
“Missed You” was just because I desperately wanted to see cock worship that wasn’t for the sexual gratification/titillation of the—usually male—viewer, specifically from a man’s perspective. I wanted to be a voyeur to my own feelings on giving oral sex I guess, haha, and of course I use Ila and Idris as proxies. Also I just really like drawing Idris’s dick, so, double win for me.
I do not remember what spawned a very quick and dirty Mermaid!AU, but at some point it was spawned (heh, spawned. Like a fish), and I wanted very much to use a series of mermaid illustrations as an excuse to dip my toes back into doing my monochrome/sepia illustrations. I guess, this one isn’t so sepia, but it’s not exactly monochrome either. But it’s not black and white, and definitely not a color painting. This is part one of that little series.
I’m angry because Clip flipped out at the very end, so I was only able to salvage a partial 60 second timelapse of it. I’ll include it here for the sake of posterity, though.
The two other thumbnails for the series, and a fourth image that I plan to turn into a fully fledged painting—I think they’ll be very striking like this in full color, haha.
I want to use these as an excuse to write a short story in a completely independent setting away from any of my bigger novel settings, and the gist of that story is: At some point in the past Idris is cursed to live as a human with no recollection of ever having been anything but human. He’s always lived by the sea though, and has had an affinity for it for as long as he could recall. Something always drew him to it.
Unbeknownst to him, he’d had a daughter before he was cursed, and she’s been the one that’s been keeping him tethered to the tides, even as he attempts to make a life for himself on land. Until, one day, Ila lures him down into the deep to drown him, unveiling his true nature with the death of his human shell…
I was also able to finish a commission in September for NyghtWulf! Of hir Kyr, waking up from a dragon-nap in a burning bed of coals. I also got to design hir glowing scale-scute form this way, which I’m very pleased with. Excited to draw for hir again soon, hir prompts are always very fun. ^^
A few thumbnails for good measure!
The first one is for my good friend LadyLibido and my partner Shadderstag, of her Ketna and his Gharioch, based on a really hot short story Lady wrote. A specific scene in there wouldn’t leave me alone so I had to scribble it into at least a sketchy little thumbnail—I plan to finish this fairly soon; I think I’m probably going to paint it, because Gharioch has some absolutely striking colors on him that I think would be very fun to paint.
The second one is for another very good friend ViceKillX; he’s been so patient with me getting this commission done for him and I cannot thank him enough for that. It’s his character Corbin–a crow shifter–being found tied up and beaten in a job-gone-wrong by his handler and extremely toxic Stockholm Syndrome Love Interest, Johnathan Crane/Scarecrow (specifically his incarnation from the Arkham Asylum games). Look what you’ve done, stupid boy. v__v Very excited to paint this one for all the grunge-aesthetic and blood and such.
The last one is for me/husband; I had the idea of Ila sucking Idris’s dick in a more abstract way than what this turned into, but I’m not complaining about what it turned into either. It also spawned the first short story I’ve done of these two (in the Metal Band Setting) since February. It’s specifically oral fixation/ball worship, which I’m too shy to actually draw—it looks so silly in live action porn and I can’t get over that hurdle just yet—but I’m not shy enough to not write it. So the art gets to focus on his boot and her teasing his cockhead.
I swear to god this novel is going to be the death of me. I’d thought I was finally done rewriting it—as I say every time I think I’m done—but then I talked to my husband (who’s like, half my editor and half my co-author at this point) about it all because I felt stuck in trying to edit it this last go-around. And, of course, in talking to him I ended up tearing it all apart for the third or fourth time.
I’m not exactly starting from scratch, but there’s a lot of stuff I need to write in, scenes I need to re-write completely, and ideas I need to toss out again. It’s all in service to making a tighter narrative around the theme of the book, it’s just frustrating that it’s taken so long and so many revisions to get to this point… But I think, hopefully, this is much more focused than any incarnation before it, and despite being so heavily in need of revising, won’t need to be torn up again when it’s near finished. Hopefully.
I think part of my fumbling with Her Fire has been a lack of starting and finishing short stories; the last one I did, Abroad Ardor, I did while I was emotionally compromised because of what had happened with #hardcover early this year, and then I just… Stopped. Writing a novel is not the same as writing a short story, but the structure, ime, is roughly the same. There is a beginning, middle, and end. There is a through-line in my writing, usually, and in my porn I want to have context, so there’s that too.
A novel just requires so much more slow-release stamina than a short story, and I’ve been starving myself of quick-fire start-and-finish-in-a-couple-weeks stories… So I decided to start that up again with the short smut story Reverence. It’s currently at 8k words and might get a little longer with finalizing edits. Feels good to finally write something like this again.
Have a snippet. \o/ Ila’s embarrassed because Idris guessed right that she has a fetish for his balls and he’s being a little bit mean about it, because he’s sometimes a mean Dom. She’s not complaining, even if she is feeling a lot.
“… Idris laughed, groaned, and used his other hand to slick the saliva already flowing from her mouth down the rest of his aching shaft that she couldn’t reach. He hissed and guided her head while he cocked his and observed her from beneath a heavy-lidded gaze. He rubbed wet fingers over the piercing just above his balls, then lower still, and bit his lip.
His voice strained when he spoke. “If you do not like it so much, then it is not an issue if I…”
Idris’s pitch eyes bored into her and that lopsided, roguish smile taunted her as he palmed his balls and rubbed each with slow, deliberate care. Ila whimpered as his heavy, steel-toe boots planted on either side of her and he pushed up to brace his back against the couch back, hips lifted up off the cushions. The piece of furniture was thankfully already flush with the wall—if it hadn’t been, it would have shrieked across the hardwood and hit it with a bang, for how forcefully he maneuvered his seven and a half foot frame.
All the while, he held her head still by that fistful of white curls and slowly—so slowly it was almost a kind of agony—pumped his throbbing shaft between her lips. He sighed every time her lips slicked over the exposed corona of his cockhead when he pushed her back, and sighed again as his foreskin was rolled back when he pulled her down on his dick.
Tears pricked her eyes at the sting in her scalp, and she felt his thighs flex tight under her hands as he nudged his cock toward the back of her throat and kept his balance. Ila made no move to stop it when a tear fell down her hot, flushed cheek…”
That’s all for now; thank you all for subscribing, and if you’ve got any questions or comments, don’t hesitate to email me. ♥