Overseas
While, in general, I roll my eyes when someone talks about the pandemic, I wanted to start this email with the qualifier that the change I'm writing about today was really brought on by say it with me the pandemic. More or less, these days, I just don't want to go overseas anymore.
For years, much of my twenties, I had a lot of great overseas adventures. Whether it was making new friends in Malaysia, having a great formative trip with my girlfriend in Italy or friend-hopping around the USA so much of what made the texture of my life was the two or so trips I'd take each year.
When I lived in the UK travel was then, too, a large part of the experience. Visiting Iceland, for example, was one of those perfect things that I will always feel grateful for.
But, these last few years I've found myself completely ambivalent about the prospect of international travel. It's odd, as this year I have three international trips: Singapore (done), Vietnam/Laos (soon) and London/Paris (November) - so there's a lot of travel for someone who is claiming to be over it. If I really was sick of it, would I do it so much? And I guess the answer to that is 'hmm, maybe?'.
Basically, though, I am NOT sick of the experiences I have: seeing old friends, attending book fairs, enjoying a new place, revisiting an old haunt. Those things are still really rewarding and fun, but what has changed is I absolutely loathe flying. I am just utterly unimpressed with being in an airport or on a plane. The waiting, the discomfort, the tiny seats, the smell, the food, the whole shebang is just utterly unfun and I am not into it.
I just cannot emphasise how much I object to air travel, and I also feel increasingly that I cannot justify these big carbon spewing trips, if my heart isn't even in it, why objectively pollute the planet?
See the thing is, for me, increasing the journey matters not quite as much as the destination, but we're getting closer. I know, for example, that being in Paris and London will be so much fun and really rewarding - so I am very much looking forward to it. However, I also deeply kind of just want to stay in Australia.
More and more the things that interest me are just here. Interesting, when my girlfriend and I had a chat a few weeks ago - where should we go for a holiday together. Over the last few years we've traveled to go to people's weddings - so now, next year, maybe we can go somewhere we'd want to go. But here's the thing - we like could not think of an international trip we'd like to do. I could list book fairs I wouldn't mind going to (LA, SF, NYC primarily) - she wasn't that keen. She could name a few trips she'd like to do with her Mum, and obviously gate crashing those is a bit lame. But what about us? Just nothing, no ideas at all.
I think this is really interesting - it's not just that the journey has become something I'm less willing to cope with, but the destinations are also a bit less appealing. I'd much rather go to Ningaloo, or to the desert, or to Broome, or Cape York, or Carpenteria or something like that, then overseas. Here interests me a lot more than there, at least right now.
I don't expect this to last - after all the world is big and I'm a curious person. Still it's a funny thing - a part of my life that was quite crucial for my growth and zest has sort of become a bit of a burden - oh we have to travel overseas for that wedding, damn - rather than something exciting. It's making the best of something, rather than truly embracing it.
Anyway - I don't mean to complain - how obnoxious would that be? Some dude (jerk) whinging about having to travel, but instead just reflect on what I notice in myself: that the big wide world has lost some of it's appeal, and the local dingy travel has become much more exciting.