A cat has nine lives - how many do we have?
Something I've written a bit about is here before is how my life is split between my day job in Education and my life as an artist. For many years, it's felt pretty easy to keep both going, pouring effort into each and generally there's been few conflicts or difficulties in rocking up for 9-5 then moonlighting as an artist/publisher/writer.
However, over the last year, as art has begun to bring in more money, I've found it increasingly hard to balance both. Largely because having a day job just eats up time in a huge way. I'll give you three quick examples of how this is becoming a bit trickier to manager.
a. Australian Geographic want me to write and photograph for an article about Wedge-Tailed Eagles. Great, I'd love to do that - it's exactly up my alley and the pay is great. To do the writing I have to interview several people at the Department of Environment, to take the photographs I need to go to Shepparton (2-2.5 hours away from where I live) twice, for two full days (more or less). So that's 2-3 days worth of work and somehow I need to convince my day job to give me the time off. Likely I'll just pretend to be sick or take a mental health day. It's dodgy but no one will notice.
b. Two galleries in Europe have expressed interest in working with me and doing exhibitions in 2023. To do these shows, I'd need to be in Europe for 4-6 weeks. This is potentially a really good opportunity to have some exhibitions, do some talks, meet some European artists, gallery owners, etc, and get more of my foot in the door there. However, 4 weeks it the maximum vacation time off. I could ask for extra time off, but my workplace would be well within its rights to say 'no, sorry, we need you to do your job'. I could also ask to do it from Europe but, again, my workplace is fairly able to say 'no, we need you in Australia, during regular hours thanks'. This is a potentially big opportunity for growth but it's directly in conflict with my job. I also need vacation time to travel to the bush and make art, and, you know, have vacations here and there too.
c. I'm applying to do an Masters which, while provides lots of self-directed time, also requires some class work and time at symposiums and workshops. How the heck can I make this work with my day job? It's unclear.
Each of these offers an opportunity to become a better artist and, I hope, avenues to make more of a life (and income) from artistic work. However, it's increasingly challenging to find a way to have two lives. If I'm honest with you guys here, I don't really want a day job any more, I just want to be an artist. When I tell people that, they freak out - imagining that all I want to do is try and sell work at a gallery, but actually I'd like to do some arts education, grow Tall Poppy Press, write more articles, take on more commissions and shoot for businesses as well, among other things.
In some ways, I think my relationship with money and life looks different from other people's because one of the pivotal things I read when I was about 21 was a book called Early Retirement Extreme. It's a really philosophical book, but essentially the author asks us two things:
To acknowledge that periods where we have less are not always less fulfilled or happy. I wonder how many of us here are happier now than we were in University, or in our first share house. A lot of the time, we sort of just find ways to make a good life, even if we have less money, security, etc. It's not that money or financial security makes us less happy, just that it's not always as coupled as we may think.
To think of needing less as a form of freedom. There's a great passage where the author describes admiring birds, who truly need nothing to live, then looking over at himself and seeing all this stuff, routines, nervousness, etc, as being part of his daily life - but why - it doesn't enable him, it bogs him down. He has to go to a job he can't stand instead of doing an almost endless list of more interesting things, almost none of which require much money at all.
While the author of that book is more extreme than I want to be, I've always found those things really helpful. It's a bit hypocritical since I live in a big house and enjoy a lot of luxury, but I also know that I'm just as happy now as I was when I was 20, and that's largely because I have good people in my life and interesting things to do. I'm more comfortable, but not necessarily more fulfilled, purposeful or happy. In that way, more is not always more. At least for me.
On Monday I popped to the printer I use, we got chatting and he told me about how many of his clients are working two lives and not really getting there with either. It really rang true because, if I'm honest, that's exactly me right now. Then he said 'really, if someone's going to make it, they just need to give themselves 12 hard months, it will take a bit of time, but you need the time, you need to push, it has to be the only thing'. Unlike some Hollywood 'anyone can make it' crap, I think what he meant was: you need to have the time and flexibility to take up opportunities so that they become larger parts of the work you do. I do know a few people very happy in their balance of work and creating, but they've arrived there after a long period of working it out, rather than a default.
I was also listening to a really interesting podcast about regret. The speaker, who conducted a huge study about regret and published his findings in a book, found that inaction is the most common form of regret, especially after age 25-30. No one is really making that many risky decisions (like driving home drunk, say), and most regrets are 'I wish I'd tried' or 'I wish I'd had a go'. Many people, even when having a go fails, express a silver lining 'I tried, it didn't work, but I just went on to have a normal life, and I'm glad I tried'. I think that's me right now, wanting to have a go, knowing that trying is better than not, and realising that regret, for me, is much more likely to come from avoiding something than having a crack.
No resolutions today, but I've been thinking about at what point I quit my day job - not this year, but possibly next.
Some cool things happened this week:
The Washington Post reviewed my book The Killing Sink, please read the review here. If you've not grabbed a copy of the book yet, the best place to buy it is from me, at this link.
I'm teaching a weekend workshop about making a photobook and publishing - I'm really excited to talk nuts and bolts about publishing, processes to make a book, approaching publishers, costs involved and what to do once you've published something. It's in Melbourne in February 2023, so ages away. If you're reading this and thinking 'oh a mate might like this' I'd love it if you passed on the website. You can find all the info over here