I alluded on Twitter recently to some events that occurred in cursed home of Ben and Jerry's and paddleboarding.
Y’all wanna hear a story about how me and this bitch THE STATE OF VERMONT fell out? It’s kind of long, but it’s full of suspense.
— Emily Gould (@EmilyGould) June 21, 2022
I will tell you this full story eventually, but not anytime soon. Not enough time has passed for it to be funny yet, or even interesting. I have delivered it in the form of a tight 25 minute monologue to Keith, my therapist, and my friend Ellen. Keith and Ellen expressed appropriate concern and sympathy. My therapist suggested that the next stage of our work together might begin to include EMDR --eye movement desensitization therapy -- for PTSD. Not directly related to what happened in V*rm*nt, but not TOTALLY unrelated to it either. Ok, that sounds melodramatic and I feel like I should reassure you that I wasn't raped or put in jail. But like. Even though, as Nora Ephron's mom always reminded her, everything is copy (I have updated this to "everything is content"), this story isn't copy/content yet. Who knows, maybe I'll never tell it. Maybe it'll be a little secret between me, Keith, Ellen, my therapist, various personae who work and hang out in the environs of the Burlington "International" Airport, and Ruth (who talked me through parts of it on the phone, thank fucking goddess for Ruth).
But probably not. We've met me. We'll see it in a book in like 2025. Til then, we'll just have to sit with our feelings (by which I mean, going to whatever lengths necessary to not feel them most of the time).
More to the point, I invented a new recipe this week. It's disgusting but I think it might come in handy for you. It's great when you can't order the same Han Dynasty meal again because you already ordered it 5 times that week and you haven't grocery shopped recently.
1 lb spaghetti (if you have celiac I recommend Jovial brand as always. Also this podcast about the founder of Jovial. It has a shocking, heartbreaking twist!)
butter (a lot)
Fly By Jing Chili Crisp (other brands will do but this is the best one imo)
What you do is, boil the spaghetti then drain it. Add the butter and a few shavings each of microplaned raw garlic and lemon zest. Mix it all up then add chili crisp, parmesan, salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste. Eat the whole thing out of a mixing bowl until it's done or until your feelings go away.